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Is it scary to live with a HIV-infected husband. Eleven steps to a fulfilling life with HIV-positive status. or Full life with HIV-positive status - is it real?! Healthy lifestyle

Clearly, this did not happen by itself. Prevention and control of HIV in Russian healthcare is one of the priorities. The state program implemented by the Ministry of Health for 10 years has brought Russia into the group of countries - world leaders, where the transmission of HIV to children has practically stopped.

What help can a person with HIV expect? How to accept your diagnosis and is it possible to build a happy family? AiF told about this Alexey Lakhov, Deputy Director for External Relations, Non-Commercial Partnership "E.V.A." helping families with HIV patients.

Road to life

Yulia Nikolaeva, AiF: Alexey, what should a person who has received a positive HIV test do?

Alexey Lakhov: First of all, you need to find out if there is actually a disease (false positive test results also occur). To do this, you need to contact the Center for the Prevention and Control of AIDS, which is in each region. The address of the nearest center can be found on the portal o-spide.ru in the "Where to contact" section. After confirming the diagnosis, an examination is prescribed for a more detailed assessment of the patient's condition in order to select the optimal treatment for him. For this, antiretroviral drugs are used. They suppress the reproduction of the HIV virus in the body to such an extent that it ceases to be detected in the blood. The patient's life prognosis is the same as for people without HIV.

- It turns out that now they don’t die from HIV?

Only ignoring the diagnosis and conscious refusal of therapy can lead to death. Those who are treated live as long as those who are healthy. And thanks to the fact that they undergo regular check-ups (at least twice a year), it turns out that HIV-positive people monitor their health even better than non-sick people!

- But drugs are quite expensive, aren't they?

In Russia, HIV treatment is absolutely free. Since 2017, the Ministry of Health has again switched to centralized procurement of drugs in order to provide for all those in need. Thanks to this measure, and also thanks to the formation of a patient register, which will soon be prepared by the ministry, it will be possible to significantly increase the treatment coverage of HIV patients. Funds for this have already been budgeted for next year.

One in the field...

- Nevertheless, society often does not treat such people in the best way.

This is complete ignorance. The fact of the matter is that modern drugs can reduce the viral load to zero. That is, an HIV-positive person no longer infects anyone.

But how can a person deal with their own emotions? After hearing the diagnosis, many experience shock and even lose interest in life.

You must try to accept your diagnosis and learn to live with it. Self-help groups help people with HIV in this - they can be found in social networks, on the base public organizations, in some AIDS centers. Psychological and emotional support is also provided by “peer counselors”, people who themselves have HIV and have learned to live with this diagnosis.

- Young people who want to have a family and children often get sick with HIV.

And it is quite possible! If you take antiretroviral therapy, you can have a healthy baby. Timely chemoprophylaxis can reduce the risk of HIV transmission from mother to child to almost zero. Russia, represented by the Ministry of Health, actively supports international programs to prevent HIV transmission to children from infected mothers. And these programs really work. Here's a fact: the number of HIV-infected women is increasing by 10% annually, but the number of children with HIV is not. Because HIV-infected mothers cannot breastfeed, they are provided with formula for artificial feeding free of charge. Moreover, children with HIV infection began to be actively taken into families. The "Republican Clinical Infectious Diseases Hospital" in Ust-Izhora has a department for children with HIV infection - something like orphanage. There are almost no patients there - more than 100 kids have found foster parents.

Help "AiF"

To reduce the further spread of HIV infection and eliminate transmission of HIV to children, the Ministry of Health of Russia has developed and is implementing programs to increase the coverage of ARV prophylaxis. The risk of vertical transmission of HIV infection from mother to child has decreased in Russian Federation up to 2%, therefore, in 98% of cases, healthy children are born from HIV-infected mothers.

Patient stories

Even into space

Yaroslava Medvedeva, 40 years old:

I had just the kind of story that could not seem to end well. I have been using drugs for many years. And in 2010 she decided to change her life. I was then 34 years old. I learned about my disease from the infectious disease specialist of the district clinic, who had previously treated me for hepatitis. She referred me to the AIDS center. When I left the clinic, I burst into tears. I was walking down the street, and there was a feeling that it was written on my forehead what was happening to me, and everyone understands this. I called my mother, she supported me and reassured me. I got registered at the AIDS Center, went for check-ups every six months, but no treatment has been prescribed to me yet. And in 2013, I got a job at NP E.V.A. Now I am the coordinator of one of the projects, I am a 3rd year student at the Institute of Psychology and social work. I recently got married to my boyfriend. Immediately, as soon as we met, I confessed to him that I had HIV infection. He said that he did not care, because he loves me, we will die on the same day and what difference does it make what. But I've started taking antiretroviral therapy because I can't accept the slightest possibility of him being infected. To everyone who has learned such a diagnosis, I want to say: this is not the end of life. Since 2010, HIV infection has been excluded from the list of fatal diseases in our country. This is a common chronic sluggish disease. If a person goes to the doctor, receives drugs, then he lives as long as a person without HIV infection. If you do not know that I have HIV, then you can even send me into space for all other health parameters.

plus to minus

Anastasia Mokina, 30 years old:

I found out about the diagnosis in 2010. Six months before that, my man was diagnosed with HIV. It was quite unexpected. We thought long and hard about where. They decided that he could have become infected when he got tattoos from some obscure artists a few years ago. He went to get registered at the AIDS center, and I went there to get checked. The first analysis showed nothing. Six months later, it turned out to be positive. I also started going to self-help groups, which helped me a lot. We then got married - the disease united us. However, they later broke up. Now I have an HIV-negative young man, we have been living together for the 4th year. We are planning a child. There is no reason to treat HIV-positive people like some kind of lepers, we are just the same people as everyone else.

happiness in children

Elena Ivanova, 29 years old, two sons - 4 years old and 1 year old:

I dated a young man who was addicted to drugs. When he got to the hospital one day, our mutual friends told me that he had HIV, so I should get tested. That's how I knew I was sick too. At the AIDS Center I met a similar HIV-positive young man. We got married and really wanted kids. When I found out about the pregnancy, I was very happy. At two years old, the child was removed from the register - he turned out to be completely healthy. The husband died in an accident. She got married a second time. Even at the very beginning of the relationship, she told him about her diagnosis (husband is HIV-negative), he reacted quite calmly. Now our child is a year old and he is also healthy. I am engaged in computer design, I organize support groups for HIV-positive people.

HIV positive people are living longer and longer. Already today there is strong hope that many people living with HIV will live as long as those who do not have HIV.

Research shows that a person living with HIV has the same life expectancy as an HIV-negative person—provided they are diagnosed promptly, have good access to health care, and adhere strictly to their doctor's prescribed HIV treatment regimen.

A number of factors can affect the life expectancy of HIV-infected people, each of these factors affecting the life and health of individuals in different ways.

  • How can early start HIV treatment after infection, before the number drops to a low level. The sooner a doctor diagnoses and starts treatment for HIV infection, the better the patient's long-term health will be.
  • Presence in the past serious illnesses associated with HIV. They may have occurred before HIV was diagnosed and/or before HIV treatment was started. These diseases negatively affect life expectancy.
  • Results of HIV treatment after a year. Studies show that life expectancy is higher for people who respond well to therapy within a year of starting therapy than for people who do not. In particular, people whose CD4 count reaches at least 350 cells/ml and who have no detectable viral load for a year have a very good long-term outlook.
  • Year of diagnosis. HIV treatment and medical care has improved over the years. It is expected that people who have been diagnosed in last years, will have a longer life expectancy than people who were diagnosed a long time ago.
  • Concomitant diseases such as heart disease, liver disease, and cancer. They are more likely to cause death than HIV.
  • Injection drug use. People with HIV who inject drugs have a shorter life expectancy due to drug overdose and bacterial infections. Injecting drug users are at a disadvantage both in terms of HIV-related and non-HIV related illnesses. Poor adherence and co-infection with hepatitis C were the strongest factors. Overall life expectancy of injecting drug users 20 years less than all other groups of HIV-infected.
  • Access to effective HIV treatment and high quality medical care.
  • CD4 count at the start of treatment remains one of the strongest predictors of life expectancy. If treatment is started late, untimely, when the CD4 count is below 200 cells / ml, then a person could already lose as much as 15 years of life.
  • Smoking. Smokers with HIV lose more years of life to smoking than to HIV. In fact, the risk of death from smoking is twice as high among smokers with HIV and can reduce a person's life expectancy by up to 12 years regardless of HIV.
  • Race and longevity are inextricably linked to HIV. African Americans with HIV live an average of 8.5 years less than their white peers, according to a Bloomberg Public School of Health study.

It is also important to consider the factors that affect the life expectancy of each person, whether they have HIV or not.

  • Socio-economic conditions. There are important differences in life expectancy depending on where a person grew up, their income, education, social status, and so on. A 2017 study in the journal HIV MedicineTrusted Source shows that a person with HIV living in a high-income country would have 43.3 years added to life expectancy if diagnosed at age 20.
  • Floor. Women generally live longer than men.
  • Lifestyle. Life expectancy is longer for people who eat a balanced diet, are physically active, maintain normal weight, avoid excessive use of alcohol or drugs and maintain social connections. Smoking cessation is especially important for longevity.

Let not the hand of the giver fail

Project "AIDS.HIV.STD." — a non-profit, created by volunteer experts in the field of HIV / AIDS at their own expense to bring the truth to the people and be clear in front of their professional conscience. We will be grateful for any help to the project. May you be rewarded a thousandfold: DONATE .

How is life expectancy calculated?

Life expectancy is the average number of years a person can live.

More precisely, this is the average number of years that a person living at a given age should live, taking into account current mortality rates. This is an estimate that is calculated for a certain group of people, taking into account the current situation and predicting it for the future.

However, HIV is a relatively new disease and HIV treatment is a rapidly changing, dynamic area of ​​medicine. Therefore, it is difficult to know whether the current experience will be an accurate guide to the future.

There is currently a large number of people living with HIV: they are in their twenties, thirty, forty, fifty and sixty years. Current mortality rates are very low, leading to encouraging figures for future life expectancy. But we have very little experience with people living with HIV in their 70s and 80s, so we know little about the impact HIV can have in their later lives.

In addition, it is likely that the quality of care for people with HIV will improve in the future. HIV-positive people will benefit more from improved HIV drugs, which will have less side effects, they will be easier to take and more effective in suppressing HIV.

These drugs help lower the level of HIV in the blood and slow down the damage caused by the infection, which helps prevent the HIV infection from passing to.

In the 1980s and 1990s, antiretroviral therapy began as a monotherapy, then it was replaced by dual therapy. Now there is a combined one, which includes the use of three or more drugs.

After being diagnosed with AIDS, people who are not treated usually survive. within 3 years. If a person who is not receiving treatment for AIDS, is also developing opportunistic disease, life expectancy decreases up to 1 year.

Conclusion

With the right treatment and care, most people living with HIV will have a more or less normal life expectancy.

In fact, the most important causes of death in people living with HIV are now very similar to those in the general population: heart disease, kidney disease, liver disease, diabetes, depression and cancer.

A wide range of factors influence the risk of shortening life. Some of them are factors that cannot be changed, such as age, hereditary diseases, or the presence of HIV.

Other risk factors can be changed, such as increasing life expectancy by not smoking, being physically active, eating a balanced diet, maintaining a healthy weight, avoiding excessive alcohol or drug use, and maintaining close social bonds.

Used sources

  1. Friedman, S.; Cooper, H.; and Osborne, A. Structural and Social Contexts of HIV Risk Among African Americans. American Journal of Public Health. 2009;99(6):1002-8. DOI: 10.2105/AJPH.2008.140327.
  2. Hasse, B.; Ledergerber, B.; Furrer, H.; et al. Morbidity and Aging in HIV-Infected Persons: The Swiss HIV Cohort Study. 2011;53(11):1130-39. DOI: 10.1093/cid/cir626.
  3. Helleberg, M.; Afzal, S; Kronborg, G. et al. Mortality attributable to smoking among HIV-1-infected individuals: a nationwide, population-based cohort study. Clinical Infectious Diseases. March 2013; 56(5):727-34. DOI: 10.1093/cid/cis933.
  4. Hogg, R.; Althoff, K.; Samji, H. et al. Increases in life expectancy among treated HIV-positive individuals in the United States and Canada, 2000-2007. 7th International AIDS Society (IAS) Conference on Pathogenesis, Treatment, and Prevention. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. June 30-July 3, 2013; abstract TUPE260.
  5. Murray, M.; Hogg, R.; Lima, V.; et al. The Effect of Injecting Drug Use History on Disease Progression and Death Among HIV-positive Individuals Initiating Combination Antiretroviral Therapy. HIV medicine. February 2012; 13(2):89-97. DOI: 10.1111/j.1468-1293.2011.00940.x.

For most people who have access to modern therapies and health services, HIV treatment is no longer a matter of survival. But what does “full life” mean? And what exactly are the steps you need to take to live the healthiest and happiest life possible if you have HIV?

In this article, we provide 10 quick tips on how to improve not only the quality of life with HIV, but also its duration.

Find your calling

Do what brings you pleasure. Use your gifts and talents - or try to find a new hobby. Find time to help other people. These and some other tips offered by our psychologists will help you gain and maintain a sense of control over your own life, which in turn improves the well-being of a person as a whole.

In people living with HIV, the old self-image is often destroyed. This can happen both at the time of diagnosis, and gradually, over time. If a person has a meaning in life, a vocation, then he is less prone to stress, illness, and generally feels better in life. Shock, shame and stigma knock the ground out from under a person, but it is all the more important to find balance and self-confidence.

Quit smoking

If you smoke, you have no doubt been repeatedly urged to quit. Perhaps you even tried, but failed. Perhaps you are waiting for the right time. Or maybe it seems to you that it is unimportant or impossible, given everything that is already happening in your life.

Believe me, you are not alone in your feelings! Many people with HIV smoke. And people living with HIV find it harder to quit smoking.

But if you care about your health (and you obviously do, otherwise you would not be reading this article), there is nothing more important for health than quitting this bad habit. Smoking reduces life expectancy even more than HIV, and HIV-positive people who smoke are much more likely to have heart attacks, lung cancer, and pneumonia than HIV-positive nonsmokers.

As a recent study has shown, there are certain programs that allow people with HIV - often with the help of a doctor - to become completely tobacco free. Concerning electronic cigarettes, they may not be as deadly as ordinary ones, but they can not be called a great alternative either.

Work

Stable work benefits not only the wallet. If you find a job that you like, then you are very lucky. It will not only give you a purpose in life and a sense of fulfillment of your destiny (we discussed the importance of this factor above), but will also bring health benefits.

It can be difficult to combine work and HIV, especially when stigma and discrimination show their unsightly nature. Remember that it is illegal to discriminate against people with HIV and that there are excellent resources available to help people with HIV get the training and support they need to find and keep a job.

Eat right

It's easy to underestimate the importance of the food we fill our bellies with on a daily basis to our health. But proper nutrition- Eating the right foods in the right amounts - has a range of health benefits: it helps control weight, provides energy, strengthens the immune system and increases the body's resistance to disease (including by strengthening the heart and bones). It even helps reduce the inflammation that so often occurs with HIV.

Even the leading doctors who deal with the problem of HIV give HIV-positive patients different nutritional advice. But they all agree on one thing: dietary changes often help avoid additional medications, which can both reduce the effectiveness of HIV drugs and have their own side effects.

Take supplements with caution

Speaking of pills, many people believe that vitamins, minerals and other nutritional supplements must be present in the human diet. Sometimes this is true - especially if they are prescribed by a doctor or they are aimed at combating a deficiency that cannot be filled with nutrition and exercise. However, HIV experts agree that nutritional supplements are not a mandatory part of the diet and that you should consult your doctor before taking them if you are taking HIV medications.

Of course, a complex of vitamins and minerals will be an excellent addition to a healthy diet and help to cope with long-term consequences. chronic diseases. But for this you need to choose nutritional supplements that you can trust and that are really worth the money spent on them.

In addition, there are a number of additives that can reduce the effectiveness of HIV drugs. That is why you should definitely consult your doctor before taking them. (And of course, you should never take nutritional supplements instead of HIV drugs; you can always find a way to combine the necessary supplements and HIV medications).

Control your stress levels

We know, we know: easy to say, but hard to do. For many of us, stress is an integral part of life, and in the lives of people with HIV, the problem of trauma is especially acute.

But whether it's minor domestic troubles or serious trials, stress not only spoils the mood, but also reduces the quality of life in general. Research shows, for example, that stress affects viral load and CD4 counts. Taking care of your mental health—reducing anxiety, treating depression and trauma, and addressing other issues commonly seen in people with HIV—helps control your HIV infection and makes life brighter and more fulfilling.

That's why it's so important to stop and pay attention to the signs and causes of stress, and take practical steps to reduce its impact on your life.

Assess your overall health

Nowadays, people die less and less often from HIV, that is, from AIDS-associated diseases. People with HIV are increasingly suffering from the same diseases as everyone else: cancer, cardiovascular disease, organ damage (liver, kidney and bones) and the like.

Scientists are still arguing about the role of HIV in causing these problems (although HIV-related inflammation appears to play a key role). But there is no doubt that regular visits to the doctor and attention to possible symptoms will help both prevent other health problems and begin timely and effective treatment when such problems arise.

Now it is not difficult to find expert advice and a wealth of information about possible problems with health that are not directly related to HIV.

First of all, love yourself

All people, regardless of HIV status, have the right to love and support. Unhealthy relationships, where there is a place for insults and violence, ruin the lives of many people, but some are afraid that if they leave their partners, then no one else will need them.

Reliable, unbiased support is extremely valuable to a person's health and well-being, whether it's from a romantic relationship, family member, close friend, or support group. But it all starts with the realization that you are worthy of love and respect.
Similarly, deciding how, when, and to whom to tell you have HIV is like walking through a minefield. And for this you need, first of all, to find strength in yourself.

Avoid and Treat STDs

Of course, HIV is a sexually transmitted disease (STD). But often this is not the only disease that an HIV-positive person should worry about.

An undetectable viral load with HIV means it's virtually impossible for you to pass the virus on to another person - but you can still become infected and infect other people with an STD.
In fact, STDs are common among people with HIV, especially (and increasingly) gay men. But most of them are easy to diagnose and treat. This is good because, without diagnosis and treatment, STDs can become a serious problem; for example, HPV is the leading cause of cancer in HIV-positive people.

For HIV-positive people, there is a wealth of information and advice on preventing and treating STDs.

Limit alcohol and drug use

Addiction and HIV have long gone hand in hand. Finding a way to separate them is perhaps the most important and difficult thing that a person with HIV needs to do.

Virtually nothing shortens—and worsens—the lives of HIV-positive people like recreational drugs and hard alcohol. On the other hand, giving up these bad habits can completely change a person's life (as well as the lives of their friends and loved ones).
There is a wealth of material on where to go for help with addiction and how to stay safe when injecting drugs.

The number of people living with HIV in the world is growing every year. According to the report of the Federal Scientific and Methodological Center for the Prevention and Control of AIDS, in 2017 the Sverdlovsk Region was in first place among Russian regions on the spread of HIV infection: 1741.4 people per 100 thousand of the population (or 1.74% of all residents of the region) are infected with the virus. In total, in Russia, according to personalized records, as of May 1, 2018, there were slightly less than a million Russians living with an established diagnosis of HIV infection - 968,698 people. But HIV is not always about death, if you do not turn a blind eye to the problem and follow the necessary rules.

Polina Rodimkina from Yekaterinburg is 39 years old - 17 of them she has been living with HIV infection. As a teenager, Polina lived from drink to drink and dated a heroin addict who beat her. Today she is the head of the Steps of Hope rehabilitation center and the mother of a healthy fourteen-year-old daughter. Her life differs from the lives of other people only in that she regularly takes therapy.

The Village spoke to Polina about how her HIV positive status has changed her life.

First Braga

I was born in Chelyabinsk in a family of aviators - all my relatives worked for the airline. Relations between us were complicated: as in any Soviet family, we had many strict rules and there was no understanding of love and intimacy. The concern of parents was, first of all, to feed and provide children with the most necessary - to satisfy basic needs.

I grew up vulnerable, in groups I was an outcast. I went to school in 1986, at a time of total shortages and flourishing corruption. Children were evaluated by the gifts of their parents, but my father had a clear position that teachers work for a salary - he is right in this, but I got it at school. I began to look for warmth in the street and tried to compensate for the emptiness in destructive ways. On the street they were just as broken as me, only a little older.

And two years later, binges had already begun - at 14 I lived from drinking to drinking

I was 12 when I first tried alcohol. I met New Year in the company of classmates with whom I have never been friends. We drank mash - I didn’t like it at all. I didn't like being drunk either. When she returned home, she confessed everything to her mother. "Why did you do that?" she asked, but I didn't have an answer. Now I can say: everyone did it, that's why I did it. And two years later, binges had already begun - at 14 I lived from drinking to drinking.

I couldn't say no. In teenagers, in every adult, I looked for support and protection. Alcohol has become my medicine. If at first he opened the gates to another world for me, which I could not afford, being sober, then soon the euphoria was gone. I became physically addicted - an addicted person does not use for the sake of getting high, but to live another day.

At the age of 20, I tried drugs.

The first love

I never had a need for a relationship - as a child, I told my parents that I would never have a husband and children. But I liked to suffer for the boys. It was one of the manifestations of addiction, but I realized it much later.

On New Year's holidays, when the millennium came, I began to have a relationship with a housemate - I had known him for a hundred years. He disliked liquor, but was a heroin addict. 2000 was the age of heroin. I never tried it, but there were always some kind of turbidity in the apartment - different people clustered together, some girls sniffed. I've been drinking all this time. I considered drinking successful when I didn’t remember anything after it. We hung out with him and used some wheels, smoked cannabis. It took me two years to admit to myself that I was also an addict. Our union was destructive and reminded Kindergarten with various manifestations of "adulthood" in the worst senses. My partner beat me up and my body was bruised all the time.

2000 was the age of heroin. I never tried it, but there were always some kind of turbidity in the apartment - different people clustered around, some girls sniffed

Women's consultation

Some time before that, I was expelled from the institute - I studied for a fee, and we drank all the money for education and pierced it with my lover. It seemed to me that the whole world owes me, and only suckers work, but my parents freaked out and got me a job as an archivist at the airport.

Once I had a fever, and I decided to go on sick leave. The doctor suggested that I get tested. To receive them, I went to the antenatal clinic at the place of residence. The reception staff did not find my tests in the box and hesitated. They sent me to some office, began to run back and forth - I stood all beaten up, with black bruises and dreamed only of dumping home as soon as possible. In the end, I got tired of it, and I began to resent - rudely, obscenely. In response, they shouted to me throughout the corridor, in front of everyone: “You have AIDS, and you will die soon - why are you yelling?”

I started crying and ran home from the antenatal clinic. The first reaction was hysteria - it manifested itself as fear and self-pity. I was very ashamed - I felt dirty.

At that time, I knew nothing about HIV, and was not going to find out. I denied the disease - I was sure that it was not about me, that some fatal mistake had happened. As a dependent and immature person, I interpreted everything in my own way - but if the sofa is orange, what's the point of denying it and saying that it is actually green?

I was told that I would last another three years. What scared me most was not death, but the fact that I would have to die slowly. Stories about the agony of Freddie Mercury, who was sick with AIDS, popped up in my head.

In the end, I got tired of it, and I began to resent - rudely, obscenely. In response, the whole corridor shouted to me in front of everyone: “ You have AIDS and you will soon die - what are you yelling at?»

Infidelity

At 22, we separated after almost three years of hell. On the day when I was informed about my diagnosis in the antenatal clinic, I told him everything. A couple of days later, he tried to drown me in a puddle because I brought HIV to him. From that moment on, we suffered for another six months - by that time I had drunk the need to be beaten to the bottom. For several months I was afraid to go out, because he tried to watch me.

I got HIV from a partner - but it is impossible to infect a person who does not want it himself. I consider my infection as a mutual action, which led to the corresponding consequences. I did everything to get infected. The fact that I was not informed and turned a blind eye to problems is also my own choice.

I don't know if my boyfriend was faithful to me. I think that he got HIV when he was injected with the same needle with his comrades. But, speaking of fidelity, one should always start with oneself: HIV is a disease of infidelity, first of all, to oneself. There was an anecdote in my youth that sex was not a reason to get to know each other. Then it was the norm - people dived into bed at the first opportunity, did not disdain the toilet for sex. But will a person live like this if he is true to himself?

There was no love in the Soviet Union, the family was considered only a cell of society - where is the love here? Without morality, without spirituality, we could turn everything into the norm - both drinking, and sex without a condom, and one needle in all veins. The lack of family culture has formed the dislike, infidelity of a person to himself. Friday evening has become the main holiday of the whole country.

Pregnancy

All the time I thought that all my classmates have any roads open, but I have only one. At best, the hospital was waiting for me for a couple of weeks. In the noughties, no one had any idea what to do with HIV. Then they told me a wonderful phrase: “They don’t even take people like you to the hospice.” With this thought, I lived, prepared for death.

The final diagnosis was announced in April, when everything was blooming and blooming outside the window. My parents tried once again not to let me out of the house - they were afraid that I would be crippled ex-boyfriend. I got a job on the other side of the city - not because I wanted to do something, but because I wanted to drink. And the booze needed money.

At work, a colleague fell in love with me. For me, it was a casual connection, I didn’t need anything from him. In life, I had all the same interests. A month after we met, I suggested that he “fall apart” - he began to think that I was married, that I had another man. I told him about the infection, but he didn't care - he replied that he loved me and wanted to be with me. I can’t say that it somehow touched me - I didn’t have any feelings for him. There was nothing but use.

Once I had a big fight with my parents, and that man left me the keys to his apartment - he offered to live with him. I stayed, just not to return home and show my parents my character. A couple of months later, she found out she was pregnant. When I came to the AIDS center, they began to tell me that the pregnancy urgently needed to be terminated. They convinced me that I can only give birth to a sick child, they said: “Well, even if you give birth to a healthy one, you will die yourself - who will need your child?” But the more they told me about coffins and children's corpses, the more precisely I knew that I would give birth to everyone out of spite. No one had the right to tell me what to do. Later, I realized that I used to set myself an internal ban on happiness and forbade myself a family.

I was 23 years old - I thought that I had lived for a year and a half since the diagnosis, it would be nice to just have time to look my child in the eyes. All the same, somewhere there was a glimmer of hope that it would pass, and he would not be infected. It was hard for me to bear the fetus - it was my first remission, it was psychologically difficult for me to be sober. There was a severe toxicosis, on a nervous basis, weight was gained. During pregnancy, I gained 25 kilograms. At the seventh month, I was placed on conservation and offered to get rid of the baby again. During caesarean section they suggested pulling the fallopian tubes so that she would no longer give birth to people like me.

I gave birth to her healthy - the status was negative.

When I came to the AIDS center, they began to tell me that the pregnancy urgently needed to be terminated. They convinced me that I can only give birth to a sick child, they said: “Well, even if you give birth to a healthy one, you will die yourself - who will need your child?”

Sobriety

Two months after giving birth, I started drinking again. And when dad died soon, for a year and a half I was somewhere at the bottom - in complete degradation. I weighed under a hundred and dreamed of two things: to lose weight and be sober.

Once I woke up in a garbage heap after another booze and decided that my life was not going well, because my husband was a goat. I thought: I need to lose weight, go to a normal restaurant and meet a normal man - then I'll live. It was convenient to feel like a victim and know that everyone around was to blame, but not myself.

In the newspaper, I found a weight loss training where they promised that I would lose 15-20 kilograms in a month. But there was one condition: all this month it was impossible to drink. The condition was tough for me, but I gathered my will into a fist and decided to stop - now I’ll lose weight and start drinking again. Several months of training and my cleanliness passed - I decided to endure one more, until the child's birthday. Then - until the anniversary of the death of the pope. And then she found out that she had been sober for a year.

I filed for divorce in 2009 and quit smoking six months later. Two years later, I began attending a group of anonymous alcoholics and following the rules of their program.

From that moment my absolute freedom began.

I did everything to get infected. The fact that I was not informed and turned a blind eye to problems is also my own choice.

Daughter

Fourteen years ago I had a daughter - since then we have been together. Now I think: how good it is that all the doctors then put pressure on me so that I would not give birth - if they had silently signed all the papers for me, I would have been a childless woman to this day. Before, I did everything out of spite.

A child is an adventure for me. I don’t know where she came from so cool - she does her homework, she goes to school herself, everywhere she is in good standing. When she was eight, she began to learn English - now she is already taking an exam at Cambridge University. She plays great in the theater - just fire. He reads poetry from the stage so that you want to cry. At her age, she is self-sufficient and self-confident - in me she causes, first of all, respect.

My daughter knows about my positive status, and has always known about it. I often consult on HIV by phone - the child is in the same room with me and hears everything. At first it seemed to me that she was still small and did not understand anything, but apparently I missed the fact that now children are growing up much more educated, and it has become much easier to receive information. When she was eight, I decided to ask if she had any questions for me - the daughter replied that there were no questions, and she was completely normal about this.

In our relationship with her different periods, and her transitional age was difficult for me. Now she is 14 - for me this is a terrible figure, because it was at this age in my life that everything went wrong at breakneck speed. But she is not interested in alcohol or weed - she says: "Mom, why do I need this?"

Once I woke up in a garbage heap after another booze and decided that my life was not going well, because my husband was a goat

stigmas

Unfortunately, just like 20 years ago, today there is a lot of stigma in society regarding HIV-infected people. Most often, I encounter stigma when dealing with employers and in the field of medical services. Often, parents do not want HIV-positive children to be taken to a common garden. People know little about HIV and are afraid to get infected even by airborne droplets - but if you do not splash people with your blood, you are not dangerous to others.

In a paid medical center, because of my status, I was recently denied a service that had nothing to do with blood. But after I recognized my status and opened my face, such things no longer offend me. I solve the problem simply: if someone does not want to work with me, I find another specialist.

People generally have strange ideas about the virus. Recently, I was at an event on the topic of HIV, where a woman was very indignant that her pension was 12,000 rubles. She said: “Maybe I will get HIV too, and I will go to Paris?” Another person told me not so long ago that an open face is bad. Like, if you want everyone to take care of you, get infected and open your face. But I don’t know that they care about me - I do everything myself.

open face

A person opens his face if he is ready to publicly acknowledge his status and is not afraid of the reaction of others. For the first time I opened my face in 2010, when the Chelyabinsk TV channel offered me to star in a story about HIV-infected people. I had to drink pills in front of the camera - a video came out showing my hands with pills, as well as my first and last name. There was no face in it, but for me this recognition was a big first step. The video was released in the summer, during the summer season, so there was no special reaction from friends.

If you open your face, then you are responsible for everything that you say in front of all those who listen to you - with and without status. It is important to be theoretically savvy because people will look to you for advice. For this, I went through a bunch of trainings on working with different groups of the population.

Recently, I was at an event on the topic of HIV, where a woman was very indignant that her pension was 12,000 rubles. She said: “Maybe I will get HIV too, and I will go to Paris?”

Spectacle

When I worked in the state rehabilitation, the guys from the NCCA invited me to participate in the social project "I. We" in the form of a documentary theater. They collected real stories people with experience. Later it turned out that they could not find a suitable actress for the performance - being embarrassed, they invited me to play the role. It turned out to be interesting to me: I was always attracted to the stage. Now I understand that the director needs to obey, but then they probably grabbed the grief with my disobedience.

The premiere was full. People perceived the performance in different ways: some got up and left at the very beginning, others cried and applauded while standing. They even gave me flowers. I was not afraid - I was only worried when my boss came to look at me. It was like confession and healing therapy. I talked about drug use, about HIV, about painful relationships. The story was accompanied by a video sequence by Vladimir Seleznev, where the girls from the "City Without Drugs" told their stories and shared their dreams. One of the heroines was at the premiere. After the performance, she came up to me and hugged me in tears, asking me to help her get out. She was injected with a "crocodile", I remember that they cut off her brush. After that, she disappeared.

I live like everyone else. The only thing that makes me different from them is that every morning I wake up and win my life back from HIV infection.

HIV

I live with positive status for seventeen years now. I'm fine, I have a healthy baby. I sunbathe on the beach, go to the bathhouse, eat delicious food, sometimes I get tired in the trash. Sometimes I forgive. I live like everyone else. The only thing that makes me different from them is that every morning I wake up and win my life back from HIV infection. I drink pills, go to the hospital every three months and take tests.

For me, HIV is a reward. Through him, I found myself - the infection gave me the courage to be myself, spurred me to introspection and development. No, I don’t want to say that now everyone needs to get infected - this path has become a salvation and a window to the world for me personally. Apparently, I turned out to be one of those who do not notice anything around until they give him a kick in the head.

Not everyone goes to the doctor

When compared with others federal districts Russia, in the Volga region today the largest number of infected people. But it is alarming that not all of them, who know about their diagnosis, want to be treated! “39% of those diagnosed with HIV refuse medical help,” says the deputy chief physician of the Samara Regional Center for the Prevention and Control of AIDS and infectious diseases Olga Agafonova. “Now in the Samara region, more than 39,000 people are HIV-positive, and only 25,000 of them are actively treated.”

Socially well-to-do people get sick

The history of the infection officially dates back to 1978, when several patients in the United States and Sweden turned to doctors with symptoms of an unknown disease. And only in 1983 the Frenchman Luc Montagnier discovered the HIV virus, which causes AIDS. In 1987, the first case of HIV was registered in Russia. In 1996, in Russia, HIV entered the environment of drug addicts, and the number of patients began to grow rapidly. In 2001, the start of an epidemic was announced in Russia, as the number of infected people exceeded 150,000. In 2008, there were already more than 480,000 infected in Russia.

For a very long time, both doctors and the population were sure that HIV and AIDS is a problem of marginalized and dissolute people. Drug addict? Homosexual? You're running a mess sexual life? If you answer “yes” to at least one question, you are at risk. But today we are faced with the fact that a huge number of patients live around us. And it's not just drug addicts and prostitutes. “The situation has changed radically,” continues Olga Agafonova. - People from all social groups of the population, all professions are registered at the AIDS Center. Quite wealthy people, schoolchildren, students get sick. In every entrance apartment building there is at least one HIV-infected person.”

Yes, HIV is everywhere these days. More than 53% of those infected in the Samara region are socially active people aged 30-40 years old, work, study, they are absolutely far from marginal categories. There are many infected among women, who sometimes became infected from their only sexual partner.

“We don't judge anyone,” says Oksana Chernova, head of the Togliatti AIDS Center. – We call on everyone to understand: the virus has long gone out of the environment of those who use drugs and has joined the ranks of socially prosperous people. In 80% of cases, women become infected with HIV through sexual contact. Not drug addicts, not walkers. Enough cases of infection from the beloved and the only.

It's time to change the mentality

Indeed, the infection does not choose by sex, social or professional characteristics. Therefore, one of the most important tasks doctors consider to involve a person in treatment. But alas, people, having learned about the diagnosis, cannot accept it, not wanting to realize that the disease does not push a person into the abyss of disadvantaged outcasts. “The stereotypes of the 90s are still alive,” said Olga Agafonova. - A person puts a label on himself and is afraid of it. Because of this, it is difficult for him to go to the doctor.”

There is another side: a person is afraid to meet someone he knows in the AIDS center. For whatever purpose a person comes here, even a simple HIV test when planning a pregnancy, he sees everyone, he is also seen. This is additional stress and awkwardness. And it is likely that due to an accidentally uncomfortable meeting, the next time a person will not go to the doctor.

Doctors believe that it is time for us to change the mentality. It's time to engage in premarital health assessment, which is accepted in many countries. “If our women and men were examined before marriage, if everyone were examined before conceiving a child, then doctors would pick up all infections in a very timely manner and begin timely treatment,” says Oksana Chernova.

To contact the AIDS center, no referrals or preliminary procedures are needed. Just come to the address: Samara, st. Leo Tolstoy, 142, room 7, from 8:00 to 17:00. You must have your passport and policy with you. Assistance to patients with HIV is provided free of charge.

“Of course, the fear of being revealed puts a lot of pressure on the psyche,” Olga Agafonova adds to her colleague. Why is this still happening? Because for ten years an HIV diagnosis has been compared to a death sentence. The word HIV sounded like the plague. And although the situation has changed radically, this label remains in society to this day. In the minds of people, little is changing, despite the fact that we try to educate the population every day. Already for a long time the HIV is not a verdict! It's like any other viral disease. You can treat and live long and high quality, even give birth to healthy children.”

To pacify HIV and live happily, there are drugs. “The state provides free treatment for a person who is registered with the AIDS center,” says Oksana Chernova. - Each applicant receives free diagnostics and therapy. You definitely need to get tested and, in case of a positive result for HIV, start treatment, this will prolong your life.”

“About this” we must be silent and talk together

There are many controversial issues associated with HIV. Should we know that there is an HIV-infected person living near us? Should AIDS center physicians inform the "general public"? Do I have the right to understand that now I am communicating with a not quite healthy person? If information about the disease infringes on his rights, how much does the secrecy of this information infringe on my rights? The doctors are sensible. “It is psychologically difficult, but we must know: people living with various infections have been, are and will always be next to us! - says Olga Agafonova. - There is widespread tuberculosis, for example. In addition, there is a high risk of “catching” something when doing a manicure, pedicure, if the tools are not properly processed. And how many infections float in the pool.

Society will inevitably be divided into "us" and "them", healthy (or not yet aware of infection) and infected. So how do you deal with each other? And what are the infected people afraid of and what do they expect from healthy people?

“HIV-positive people are the same, they need human communication,” says psychologist Natalya Bogdan. - You should not stop seeing a person if his diagnosis suddenly became known, so as not to injure him with your attitude. Avoid, reject - the most terrible and unfair punishment in relation to people. If desired and with time, prejudice can be overcome. It’s better to be honest, sincere and natural, because it’s not easy for HIV-positive people.”

HIV infection cannot be contracted by:

cohabitation,

kiss,

handshake,

Baths, swimming pools,

Use of the bathroom and toilet,

sneezing, coughing,

Insect bite.

Indeed, in the first weeks after the discovery of an infection, most people close in, trying to remain anonymous. They believe that this is the only way they can continue to lead a normal life and maintain their previous relationships with others. And the fear that the diagnosis will be revealed sometimes leads to complete isolation from society.

“We need to stop believing in the myths about HIV and AIDS,” continues Natalya Bogdan. - We must stop hiding from the problem, from information, from infected people. Do you know such a person? You can tactfully make it clear that you know the diagnosis, and immediately say that you are ready to communicate further without making adjustments for the disease. If something confuses, you should ask directly, tactfully clarify all issues. An HIV diagnosis is stressful, a strong shock for a person, associated with the loss of the most important values ​​of life. And every person in a state of stress needs to just "talk heart to heart", "pour out the soul". You can be silent together "about this", talk, listen. You may have to listen to a lot of offensive aggressive words addressed to healthy people including in person. Don't take it personally, let time will pass. Very significant, especially at first, for HIV-positive, are bodily contacts - shaking hands, touching the shoulder, supporting the arm, the elbow. Do it - don't be afraid. HIV is not transmitted this way.”

How can you get this infection?

The first is the sexual way - the one that each of us controls independently, and this is the way of transmission of any infection.

The second - along with infected blood - such infection occurs, as a rule, among injecting drug users, it is also possible when infected blood is transfused. But here it is necessary to understand: in the Samara region there are no cases of infection during blood transfusion.

And, finally, from mother to child during pregnancy (if the mother is not treated). In addition, we must remember that an HIV-infected mother should not breastfeed her child. Through breast milk the virus is 100% transmitted. To avoid infection and help the mother, today the regional government provides the family with free mixtures for artificial feeding.