A man loves long distance relationships. Long distance relationships: is it worth it? You can not make a partner the center of the universe

30.11.2020

In this article, I will give you five tips on how to maintain a relationship at a distance - advice from a psychologist that is suitable for both men and women. The article is equally suitable for those whose relationships last a long time, and those whose origins are recent. True, provided that the relationship already has a stable foundation - they know each other well, they can talk about everything and between them there are real deep feelings. I also want to note that people of any age will be able to find suitable recommendations in this article.

The main condition, without which long-distance relationships are impossible, is serious intentions on the part of both partners to keep their love. This is the desire of both to make every effort not to lose the beautiful that was between them before the forced separation.

If you can confidently say that this condition is met in your relationship, then it makes sense for you to read the suggested tips and find out how to maintain relationships at a distance. After all, when there is a strong sincere desire, there will always be means to fulfill it.

So, how to maintain a relationship at a distance, advice from a psychologist.

A couple of decades ago, people were much less likely to maintain long-distance relationships. After all, they could not maintain communication on a daily basis, despite the kilometers between them. What's the matter now - you can call up and see each other on Skype even for days on end! Modern technologies every day save thousands of people on the planet from divorces and separations. Take advantage of this wonderful opportunity.

There are also good way check how your relationship has saved itself. Agree to call each day on Skype or phone at a certain time. Or, for example, text each other "good morning" and " Good night". If for some reason one of the partners misses this ritual for some reason, it means that the relationship has given up. Because if work or something else for a partner turns out to be more important than your “meetings at a distance” more than once, you, unfortunately, will not be able to extend these relationships for a long time.

Long-distance relationships are a lot of work, and the game is worth the candle only if you both have a mad, incredibly strong desire to reach the end of this game. And in the end, meet again and live happily together.

Perhaps trust and honesty are the two main pillars on which long-distance relationships, and indeed any relationship, are kept. Only when relationships occur at a distance, it becomes much more difficult to trust. Not being able to make sure what and with whom the partner is doing, we begin to doubt him, to suspect him of something. And then we look for confirmation of our doubts. And you know what? Who seeks will always find.

For example, a woman was forced to leave the city for a while. And accidentally heard from a friend that she saw her husband with another. A woman can, without even asking her husband, immediately draw thousands of pictures in her head about how he is cheating on her. And decide: "Well, it's time to file for divorce."

In the case when the main values in relationships are honesty and trust, such a situation will not arise. First, most likely, the husband will tell his wife in advance about who he communicates with and on what issues. Secondly, in a relationship where people trust each other, the wife will not listen to what her friend says about her missus. She will hear, but will not succumb to emotions, because she is confident in her beloved. If she has not yet heard from him about the woman with whom her friend saw him, she will calmly ask her husband and make sure that there is nothing to worry about.

Being in a relationship at a distance, it is especially difficult to maintain trust. You cannot be one hundred percent sure where your partner is, and this confidence becomes even more unsteady when you do not see each other at all and learn about everything only from the words of a partner. Therefore, trust and sincerity in long-distance relationships are especially valuable, because only by trusting you will be able to remain calm, which means you can communicate normally with your partner without risking ruining the relationship.

Never pretend that everything is fine. Talk to each other about everything possible problems. If you suspect your partner of cheating or it seems to you that he has begun to treat you differently, just tell him about it.

In case you have resistance to this advice, you may be in the role of a victim in a relationship. Check it out by reading about the victim syndrome.

So, talk to your partner about everything, hiding nothing. Be honest with him. Full openness in communication plus trust is the key to a happy, mature relationship. Even if they are at a distance.

Be honest with yourself. Answer yourself sincerely whether you really love your partner, and he really loves you.

Answer the questions honestly for yourself: What will you do when you miss the physical presence of your partner? When will it be lonely? What will you do with physical needs and desires? Can you resist temptations? Are you ready to make every effort for this? What about your partner? Is he ready to go through these obstacles?

First, answer all these questions for yourself. Then mentally transfer them to your partner and answer honestly to yourself as well. How do you think he would answer these questions?

The third step is to talk frankly with your loved one about this topic. By finding answers to the main questions together, you will be able to understand whether you are both ready for a long-distance relationship. Is it worth it, can you keep your love. Yours is about lack of certainty. But when both of you have a clear understanding of "what will happen if ...", all worries and doubts will disappear by themselves. Fear exists where there is no certainty and no plan of action. Having found a plan of action, you will be freed from fears and filled with confidence.

As a psychologist, during my practice, I realized that the basis of any happy relationship is, first of all, happy relationship With myself. We are always in a relationship with a partner in the place that we assign ourselves. And in order for you to build relationships filled with love and respect, you first need to learn to love and respect yourself. To help you achieve this, I have been collecting assignments and exercises aimed at loving yourself for several months, and have collected them in a single book, How to Love Yourself. It can be purchased at this link for a symbolic cost of 99 rubles. This book is made up entirely of practical tasks and exercises that will help you improve your self-esteem, become more confident, and learn to love yourself.

Surprises and gifts will help maintain relationships at a distance in good shape. For example, order a bouquet of flowers with delivery to her at work or write him a letter by hand, sending it by regular, pigeon mail. Gifts are especially appreciated when distance separates you. The partner will smile and feel a part of you, looking at the gift or rereading the letter that you also recently held in your hands. And if it also smells like your perfume, he will simply go crazy with happiness.

Pleasant surprises from a loved one will give you confidence that he does not forget about you and is looking forward to meeting you as much as you do. This will help your feelings not fade away and make it easier to wait for a meeting. About what other ways there are to create harmonious, healthy, warm love relationships, read about the psychology of relations between a man and a woman.

Use any, even the smallest opportunity to see each other. Come to your loved one, and if you can’t come yourself, buy him a ticket to you. Or meet in the middle. Do everything in your power to see each other as often as possible, and then you will quickly and easily experience time at a distance.

Spontaneous trips will spur your relationship on again and again, because they will be accompanied by hot hugs, vivid emotions and an amazing opportunity to finally see your loved one! Make each such meeting unforgettable and, spurred on by sweet memories, the time in separation will fly by unnoticed.

Depending on the reason why you had to leave for a while, you may experience different emotions and states during separation. It can be anxiety or. But adhering to the suggested tips, it will be easier for you to survive the breakup, and negative emotions associated with this will be lived easier, and relationships will be easier to maintain.

Objective view, help and support

The methods suggested in the article are really working and effective, and they can help your relationship pass the test of distance. But individually to understand your situation and understand what exactly your couple needs for a happy and long-term relationship, you can only with a specialist.

I am a psychologist, and I conduct individual consultations via Skype. Together with you in a consultation, we will be able to understand your relationship, I will help you solve the problems caused by distance, and also help you understand what exactly in your relationship can serve as a solid foundation so that it can withstand the test of time and distance. you can find more information to get to know me better.

in contact with, instagram or . You can get acquainted with the cost of services and the scheme of work. Reviews about me and my work you can read or leave.

But what about sex?

Many do not believe in the success of long-distance relationships because of the inability to satisfy their physical needs, due to the lack of regular intimacy.

Perhaps this is really not easy, but for some it will seem impossible - for a long time to be away from a partner and at the same time remain faithful to him.

But at the beginning of the article, I mentioned that I am writing for those couples in which both partners consciously love and are in awe of what is between them. And between them - a relationship that claims to be strong and long-term, mature and conscious. Such relationships are characterized by love, intimacy, open communication and the ability to talk about everything, interest in each other's life, the desire to please your partner, the desire for the partner to develop. All these features are the key to a mature relationship. And people in mature relationships are able not only to carry love through time and distance, but also to remain faithful to each other.

Both men and women have physical needs. They may manifest themselves in different ways, but they have one way of implementation. If you want to know why mature relationships don't tolerate cheating, and why even an "innocent" fling on the side that no one will ever know about will actually change your relationship once and for all, take a look. movie about how even the thought of it can change absolutely everything between you. Having decided on treason, sooner or later you will feel that the relationship has become different. And rest assured, your partner will feel it too. This will be the beginning of the end.

How much you value what you have between you is an indicator of whether you can withstand a relationship at a distance.

The tips given in the article will help you stay faithful only if you yourself want it and are ready to do anything for your happiness. If you are ready to carry your love through time and distance.

Conclusion

Let's summarize. Long distance relationships are possible, and even more than that, they can be wonderful if you follow the tips suggested in this article. And if you want to know what will happen to your relationship if you don't follow these tips, check out This movie. It shows what happens to even the strongest love if it stretches across the ocean and does not receive any reinforcements in the form of pleasant surprises, regular communication, daily rituals, honesty and trust.

Communicate as often as possible, correspond, call up. Create your own rituals, such as daily texting at the same time, as well as evening sex on Skype.

Be honest and open with your partner and also with yourself. Don't be fooled if you suddenly start to feel that something is wrong. Time will put everything in its place anyway, it will not let you deceive yourself for a long time.

I wish you to safely survive the period of relationships at a distance and live together until old age!

Trust. This is the only way to stay calm, not jealous and not looking for confirmation of your suspicions. Do not try to find compromising evidence on your partner, but instead talk to him sincerely and frankly more often. This makes it much easier and safer to find out about everything.

Make surprises and gifts. Surprise. it The best way touch each other, being at a distance of thousands of kilometers.

And finally, take every opportunity to see each other. If your relationship is healthy and mature, if there is love in it, then both of you will want to see each other as often as possible.

I believe that if you both truly desire it with all your heart, then you can wait! When the desire is sincere, and even more so if two people want it, and they want it with equal strength, then no obstacles can prevent them from doing this.

I hope you understand how to maintain relationships at a distance on the advice of a psychologist. I understand that situations may vary and some of the recommendations in this article may not apply to you. I wish you all the best during this period in your relationship.

And don't forget to get my book How to Love Yourself. At this link you can purchase it at a symbolic cost of 99 rubles. In it, I share the most effective techniques with which I myself once raised my self-esteem, became confident and fell in love with myself. This book will help you both in working with yourself and in relationships. As a psychologist, during my practice, I was convinced that a favorable solution to any life task begins with self-love. And this is especially true in relationships - how much you love yourself directly depends on the love of your partner for you.

I am a psychologist, and relationships are one of the main areas of my work. If you need individual help with long distance relationships or your personal problems, you can contact me for psychological help. I will help you make your relationship harmonious and long-term, despite the obstacles.

You can book a consultation with me via in contact with, instagram or . You can get acquainted with the cost of services and the scheme of work. You can read and leave reviews about me and my work.

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The main thing -love.
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova

Not always those whom we love so devotedly are near. Long distance relationships are special kind, which requires much more strength and energy: in order to keep them, psychologists advise to be tolerant of each other and, at every opportunity, look for meetings with your soulmate.

What is long distance love?

Long distance relationships are a real test for any couple. Being far from each other, it is very difficult for lovers to remain close in spirit. To keep the spark, it is very important to constantly stay in touch, be interested in the life of the second half and try to take part in it in every possible way.

If we talk about relationships at a distance, two types should be distinguished:

"forced";
"voluntary".

The first includes such relationships in which one of the partners, for certain reasons, needs to leave the soulmate and go somewhere for a long time. For example, when a husband leaves to work in another country or on a long business trip. Or when one of the couple went to study in another city, and the partner, for some reason, cannot follow him.

It is quite difficult to keep such relationships at a distance - when a man and a woman are used to spending a lot of time with each other, seeing each other every day, a long absence of a partner can cool feelings. But on the other hand, this is an excellent reason to “reboot” relationships in a couple, add romance to them, and give them the opportunity to get bored.

The second type of relationship is also not simple, like the first. In this case, love happened "in absentia" and the partners have not yet met in real life(or met, but not often). This can happen through correspondence on the Internet, when a man and a woman find common ground and common interests. For example, a couple played one online game, over time, communication moved to instant messengers or transformed into long telephone conversations.

It is difficult to talk about whether it is really possible to fall in love with a person like this. As a rule, a person tends to become attached not to the physical body, but to communication, to oneself.

Important! Therefore, complex feelings through correspondence cannot be denied - in this case, it will be quite difficult for a couple to fight for happiness, because in addition to difficulties in communication, a wave of surprises awaits them from outside.

“Seriously, this is not real” - this phrase will be said more often than “Good morning”. Therefore, building such relationships is more difficult than usual, but if the feelings are really strong, it's worth a try.

What could be the difficulties?

A couple who decide to create (or maintain) a long-distance relationship can face a number of difficulties along the way. But you can fight them - for this, the desire of both partners is enough.

Lack of contact

One of the most important components of any relationship is contact. There are several types of it:

emotional;
physical;
spiritual.

If we divide all three types by importance, the physical one should be put in the first place. No matter how strange it may sound, but no matter how strong the emotional connection between partners is, normal relationships are impossible without any physical contact.

Lovers who do not look into each other's eyes and do not have the opportunity to touch the partner's arm or shoulder may sooner or later cool down. Scientists have proven that it is tactile attachment that is the strongest emotionally. Therefore, to avoid such a problem, you should see your loved one as often as possible. Video communication, as it has already become clear, does not count.

Personal life

In this case, we do not mean intimate relationships with someone else, but in general, all aspects of life. A long absence of the second half can lead to the fact that a person has a whole bunch of new interests. For example, while the husband left for six months to earn on new apartment, the wife wasted no time and learned two languages, pumped up the press and graduated from cooking courses.

Important! As a result, she made many new acquaintances, several dozen important events took place. In the meantime, the husband also did not get bored - he became an expert in his field, made friends with foreign colleagues and also accumulated a couple of stories.

And now the long-awaited meeting - the spouses do not even know where to start the conversation. It seems that everything is as before - and love has not passed, and feelings are still as hot. But there is nothing to talk about with the second half.

Each had too much "personal space", which to some extent replaced everything that the spouses had in common. Now it will take a long time to restore the old connection in order to reduce this gap of interests between lovers.

Lack of attention

To keep feelings, it is very important to get enough attention from the second half. It manifests itself in elementary care, compliments. At a distance, there is not always time for manifestations of feelings - the schedules of partners' lives may simply not coincide.

If one of the lovers does not receive the proper amount of attention, at first there comes a feeling of emptiness. There is a logical desire to fill this void - it is at this moment that the risk of betrayal increases significantly.

You can avoid such a situation - for this you need to be more often interested in the news of the second half, show attention to its problems and do not forget to share your experiences.

In the article "" psychologists reveal the secrets of male ignorance.

"Pros and cons"

It is quite difficult to say unequivocally if the future of a couple that is far from each other is quite difficult. It all depends on how strong the feelings are and how willing both partners are to fight for the relationship.

Despite all the difficulties, love far from each other can please both partners. Speaking about the advantages of relationships at a distance, the following should be highlighted.

But when a couple doesn't spend enough time together, even the warmest feelings can go cold. On the way, lovers have many different difficulties that must be overcome.

Uncertain future. Planning something with a person who is away from you is quite problematic. First of all, you never know what may change tomorrow - communication may be interrupted, or vice versa - risking everything, he may break loose and move to his soulmate. If we are talking about spouses who, due to forced circumstances, were far from each other, then it still makes sense for them to make plans for a joint future.
Independent living b. It would seem that independence has never harmed anyone. But when one of the partners gets used to solving all his problems alone, over time he simply weaned from any outside help. Accordingly, the need for a relationship partially falls off - why complicate something if you can handle all the issues yourself? Over time, this factor may affect the fact that a person will perceive any help from outside as a kind of insult.
The attitude of others. Inquisitive relatives, friends or just acquaintances cannot realize that it is possible to remain faithful to the second half even at a distance. They will try in every possible way to pin up, pointing out that nothing is eternal. In addition, some will not only be skeptical about such love, but even with notes of condemnation: “Is there really no one closer” - such a phrase can be heard from an elderly grandmother near the entrance. You will have to come to terms with this, since it is pointless to prove the strength of feelings to someone.
The risk of betrayal. No matter how strong the relationship, the risk of betrayal is always there. The farther the partners are from each other, the higher this very risk. This is especially true in moments of quarrels - after the hurtful words spoken, there may be a desire to take revenge a little. In addition, it is after the turmoil in the relationship that one of the parties may seek solace from someone else.
Suspicion. This disadvantage follows from the previous one - the risk of betrayal gives rise to excessive suspicion. “Where were you, who were you with, why didn’t you call?” - all these questions arise in the head of a woman or a man as soon as the second half stops communicating for a long time. There is a desire to control the situation - monitor social networks, control phone calls and always know where the object of sighing is.
No proper support. Both in difficult and joyful moments of life, it is very important to have a close person nearby. But if this is a long-distance relationship, it is not always possible to provide the necessary support in time (calls cannot replace personal presence).
Difficulty of meetings. If the other half is far enough away, meetings are usually extremely rare. There are two factors that affect the complexity of meetings - lack of time for a long trip or financial problems. It is possible to arrange a date on neutral territory, but then both partners will be forced to sacrifice both.

How to keep love

So that feelings do not cool down, but only become stronger every day, and the chances that the “online story” is transformed into real fairy-tale love have increased, efforts must be made by both partners.

Man's behavior

The representative of the strong sex will have to try. To a greater extent, it is in his hands that the future of relations lies. The thing is that by nature men are pioneers and conquerors. Women are used to accepting love, responding to it with tenderness. To melt the heart of your lady, you must follow simple rules.

Learn to compliment on the phone. Many psychologists argue that compliments should be spoken not only in the eyes - pleasant words spoken on the phone produce an equally noticeable “effect” on women. The more often a man will talk about her pleasant voice, beautiful hair, which he saw in a new photo or notices that the girl bought a new dress, the more likely it is that a woman will experience only warm feelings for such a companion.
Ensure uninterrupted communication. As soon as a man stops getting in touch, a million thoughts arise in his lady’s head, and not one of them is connected with the lack of the Internet, the dream of a lover, or simply the inability to talk. Therefore, in order to avoid such a nuisance, it is better to warn the girl before disappearing from the network and prevent communication failures with unlimited calls or the Internet.
Try to be understandable. Mysterious men have always fueled interest - you never know what to expect from the chosen one. Today he can be silent for a long time on the phone, and tomorrow he will send a sombrero by mail with a hint of a future trip. But even pleasant surprises can get tired - it is much better to give a woman the opportunity to plan something and only occasionally arrange surprises.
Do not expect too much from rare meetings. High expectations lead to huge disappointments. Rare meetings do not always go as we would like - in any case, the partners will need time to "swing" and get used to each other again. Therefore, do not expect too much - if the lovers can just talk heart to heart, this is already a great achievement.
Be ready for difficulties. By their nature, girls are quite capricious, so a man should get ready. Perhaps the tender and vulnerable soulmate quite likes to “take out the brain” for nothing. In this case, you should not be aggressive, such behavior should be taken for granted and abstracted at the time of unconstructive accusations. But it is very important not to miss the important when the lady begins to talk about feelings or about what worries her.
Do not cause jealousy on purpose. You should not test the relationship for strength, trying to arouse jealousy in a woman. Such behavior of the fair sex is not accepted, and they will most likely simply run away from a man who seems unreliable.
Prefer short but more frequent meetings. “The more we love a woman, the more she likes us” - this is how you can paraphrase the words of the great classic about love at a distance. It is better to see each other three times a month for a couple of hours than to meet once every two months for a week - this way the "light" in the relationship will always be maintained at the right temperature.
Don't always keep waiting. Girls are very impatient by nature. They tend to catch fire quickly, but they also burn out quickly. The longer a girl waits for a meeting or an elementary call, the less she needs it. Therefore, it is better to do everything in a timely manner - this way you can prevent the cooling of feelings.

Woman's behavior

But not only the representative of the stronger sex should try to strengthen relations. It is also important for a woman to take the right position and avoid common mistakes.

It happens that a man simply does not need true love. The article "" has several useful tips for girls.

Long distance relationships are a real test of feelings. Not all couples can handle it. But if even hundreds of kilometers could not make the couple fall out of love with each other, then any other life difficulties will seem like a mere trifle to those in love. To maintain the tone in a relationship while away from your lover, psychologists recommend several "life hacks".

Communicate more often. In order not to lose contact and always feel the support of a loved one, you need to call up or write off as often as possible. This will allow you to "shorten the distance" and at least remotely feel the presence of the second half. Do not think that such conversations do not make sense - it is they who keep the relationship afloat.
Do something together. Despite the miles between lovers, it is worth doing something together. per century modern technologies it's very simple - by setting up a video call, partners can cook dinner together, watch a movie or read a book.
Do not exaggerate small misunderstandings and difficulties. When a loved one is far away, it is very easy to "wind" yourself even for the most insignificant reason. Minor quarrels can turn into a grandiose scandal, since without personal contact with the other half it is quite difficult to solve the problem. Therefore, it is very important to avoid serious disagreements - it is better to “smooth the corners” at the very beginning of the conflict situation.
Turn off the spy mode and do not follow the life of your soulmate. Despite the fact that the distance gives rise to total jealousy, you should trust your partner. Going to the page on the social network of your chosen one, trying to find out with whom and how he communicates is not the most best idea. You should come to terms with the idea that if he wants to change, he will change, and no one will even know. But such thoughts are best left out of your head altogether.
Rejoice with surprises and gifts. Pleasant little things always cause a real flurry of emotions. For example, when a man from another country orders the most ordinary bouquet of flowers for his beloved, putting a romantic note in it, this is regarded as the warmest sign of attention. Ladies also should not forget about pleasant surprises for their gentlemen - both partners should give joy to each other.
Don't forget about yourself. Long-distance relationships take a lot of strength and energy, but you should not leave your own interests in the background. It is very important to continue to live a normal life - play sports, go out with friends. There is no need to make a partner located somewhere very far away become the center of the Universe.
Do not lie to each other even in small things. Even a “lie for good” can give rise to doubts in a loved one. For example, a girl went to a bar with her friends in the evening, but lied about spending that time reading a book. She did not have any malicious intent, she just wanted not to overload her beloved unnecessary information. Having learned about this, the man will think differently - if she lied, then there is something to hide.
Tell the news. In order not to lose touch with a partner, you should always talk about the bright moments in life. So beloved will always be aware of all events and will not miss something very important.
Feel free to express feelings. To let your loved one know that he is so important, you should talk about it. It is very important not to be shy about expressing your feelings and desires so that the next meeting is even more long-awaited.
Do not blame each other for separation. It doesn’t matter for what reason this happened - a necessary measure or a deliberately large distance between lovers. You should not blame each other for the inability to see each other - no one is to blame for this and it will not be possible to solve the problem in a jiffy.

It is generally accepted that long-distance relationships have no future. Having learned that the daughter's chosen one lives in another city thousands of kilometers away, parents more often interfere with relationships. Friends do not interfere, but stipulate. What to do? To follow the lead of loved ones and give up your feelings, or still overcome the situation without breaking the heart of yourself and your loved one?

Complexity of the situation

Yes, the chosen path is undoubtedly difficult. But our life, and building relationships in particular, always consists of certain sacrifices. Here, too, partners have to yearn more, be bored and, perhaps, cry into the pillow at night. Sometimes you really want to hug your beloved, snuggle up to him, look into his eyes, but he is not around ... However, even from such a situation, dividends can and should be drawn.

So, couples that rarely see each other are much more likely to hold hands and know how to appreciate every second spent together. They know how to enjoy the smell of hair and can not talk enough. They are able to perceive a joint meal not as a banal dinner, but as something more, as a process that can bring them even closer together. Such communication can develop into a long-term relationship, provided that the lovers will always miss each other.

In order for a long-distance relationship to last for a long period, we offer tips to help keep feelings.

Better less is better

With rare meetings with each other, lovers can make a big mistake, filling the entire space with themselves for 12 or even more hours a day. Excessive communication, obsession and constant presence next to your loved one will not be able to compensate for future separation. Do not substitute concepts and be selfish owner. It is possible that a particularly zealous partner will not be able to recognize the fine line beyond which such obsession can quickly tire the other, and this will inevitably lead to a deterioration in relations. Give your loved one a normal life and more personal space.

Distance is a bridge to each other

If you learn to live without each other, then you can live together. Take the current situation as a tutorial for building relationships. Believe that distance cannot extinguish the fire between two hearts. In this situation, it is especially valuable to identify distance not with an obstacle, but with a bridge along which lovers are connected to each other.

The unspoken rules

So that at the next meeting there are no misunderstandings and conflict situations, the couple needs to voice their expectations to each other in advance. You should discuss not only your desires and listen to the aspirations of your partner, but also agree on those things that none of them should do when they meet. It will be fair if the points in the adopted unspoken "obligation" will be equal for each of the parties.

Be creative in communication

During the period of separation, lovers often call up, but even more often communicate through social networks. It must be remembered that a daily greeting, as well as a romantic wish for “sweet dreams” at night, should be indispensable attributes. It helps to keep an invisible thread with each other. Partners can be creative in their communication, upload more photos and videos from everyday life to each other. You can try to arrange a romantic candlelight dinner via Skype or spend time watching a new movie online in your free time. In this case, partners feel more attention and love towards each other.

Sexual background

Many couples keep on constant sexual attraction to each other. In the case when love is tested by distance, physical contact and intimacy are possible only during the period of meetings. In this case, in order to save the relationship, it is necessary to warm it up with spicy phrases, provocative descriptions of actions, or passionate sexual innuendos.

set goals

Both partners must be clearly aware that long-distance relationships are in any case temporary and cannot last forever. Either they fade away, or develop into cohabitation. Lovers cannot have uncertainty, they must clearly imagine the goal to which they will strive. If lovers draw a graph in which their desired goals are on the same sheet, it’s already good.

“I will get a diploma and move to you forever” - this phrase contains 2 goals at once, for which it is worth waiting. The man voices his version: "During this time, I will make sure that we have our own housing." In this case, neither different spaces nor different time zones can prevent the couple from reuniting in the future, because their goals intersect on the built-in chart.

Avoid "dangerous situations"

The institute group of one of the lovers is planning a noisy drinking party this evening. Of course, there will be many temptations and various options development of events. How to proceed in such a case? There are two correct solutions:

Skip the party altogether.
Tell your loved one (beloved) that the event is coming.

There is no third. If the other half ever finds out that the partner is hiding his nightly adventures, be in trouble.

Arrival for a visit

Different people have different work and study schedules. But, fortunately, there are holidays, vacations, days off and weekends. If we compare the calendar, then for sure there will be periods when lovers can afford to come to visit each other. They prepare for such meetings, they are expected, they buy gifts, they preen themselves, they harbor illusions. Such multi-day dates risk becoming the sweetest moment, the apotheosis in a relationship at a distance. Now the lovers will definitely not be able to tear themselves away from each other. Vivid sensations will be experienced from a simple affectionate look and gentle touch, physical intimacy can at all cause a powerful firework of emotions. At such times, couples are especially aware of the value of relationships.

You can not make a partner the center of the universe

During separation, you should not allow yourself to think only about your beloved - this can plunge you into loneliness. Close emotional communication with loved ones will help to avoid loneliness. Parents, brothers, sisters, friends and girlfriends also want their portion of tenderness and attention. At the same time, our relatives give their absolute love in return. To distract yourself from constant thoughts about your partner, you need to come up with a new hobby for yourself: go to the gym more often or watch a banal talk show.

Candor with each other

Openness and honesty are the key to long-term relationships. Trusting a partner, talking about your problems, fears, jealousies or shortcomings is not at all scary, just like sharing the most intimate with a partner. Hiding things that you will be ashamed of later is like hiding an awl in a bag. Sooner or later, everything will come out, but trust will already be lost. To confess one's own sins and mistakes is to admit own strength. Besides loving person will always offer help and support to get out of a difficult situation.

Important little things

Don't ignore the little things, they are very important. Living in a different time zone, think about whether you will wake up your chosen one in the middle of the night. Show your attitude in the media by leaving a comment under fresh photo in one of the social networks.

Take care of gifts, because they are priceless. Even the simplest things in their energy retain warmth and a piece of the soul of a loved one.

We think that among our readers there are many people who are open to communication, who travel a lot, which means that there are probably those who once had the love of a lifetime, which was overshadowed by only one problem - thousands of kilometers separated you from your loved one. Sometimes it seems that such relationships are doomed to failure, but we think differently and have found a selection of tips on how to maintain and develop harmonious relationships at a distance.

1. Try to communicate as often as possible (better every day) using SMS messages, calls, Skype and e-mail. It is important to constantly maintain contact and occupy an important place in each other's daily life.

2. At the very beginning of a relationship, ask each other important questions to make sure that you both expect the same things from them. Decide who you are to each other: you are dating, or you are just acquaintances who are happy to meet when they find themselves in the same city, or you are engaged. Perhaps one of you believes that you are already ready for the wedding, while the other is not ready to announce such serious relationship. Yes, these questions are awkward and difficult to ask, but they are necessary in order to avoid misunderstandings and resentment. You can discuss whether either of you is ready to move to another city for the wedding and cohabitation and discuss what each of you is looking for in a relationship. By stating your goal at the very beginning, you will help yourself and close person act in accordance with personal wishes and dreams.

3. Challenge the distance and do things together. Think, after all, lovers who live next to each other spend most of their time not on talking, but on some kind of joint pastime. And at a distance it is also possible, for example, watch the same show or movie at the same time, play a game online, cook dinner while talking on Skype, sing the same song in karaoke or read the same book.

4. Communicate with everyone possible ways. Since you can't see each other on a daily basis, it's important to keep an emotional connection. This does not mean that you need to chat on the phone for a very long time in the evenings. exchange short messages using messengers. Write about your small victories, joys and problems. Ask each other for advice. But it is better to write emails that are more thoughtful and lengthy so that your loved one sees what you think of him and take some time to write this letter. Write love romantic messages. send small gifts, flowers and postcards for no reason. Quantity in this case is no less important than quality. And, of course, try not to forget important and even not very important, but your general dates. It is better to immediately set yourself reminders of each of them.

5. Remember the benefits of long-distance relationships: you can spend a lot of time with friends and family, you don’t quarrel over everyday trifles (like the fact that you need to close the shampoo bottle), each of your meetings is full of emotions, you don’t break your anger at a loved one, even if it seemed to you that he was rude in a letter to you, you can think a little before writing rudeness in response. Perhaps, after reading the letter a few more times and analyzing it, you will understand that there is nothing offensive in it. And most importantly - staying far from each other, you will retain your individuality, unlike couples who live together and spend almost all their free time together.

6. You must have common interests and you need to constantly discuss them. Do you love collecting stamps? Discuss the arrival of a new unique item in your collection. Do you both like cycling? Synchronize and ride at the same time, and then call and share emotions. When you devote time to your common hobby, you will remember your loved one.

7. Don't try to control your partner. As long as you are both interested in a relationship, you will support it. But as soon as one of you decides that his relationship is not satisfactory, or another person simply appears in his life, the relationship will end, and it doesn’t matter if you live 3000 km from each other, in the same city or in the same room.

8. Do something for each other. This does not mean that you have to throw everything on the altar of relationships. But perhaps there are things that you have wanted to do for a long time, but you lacked motivation. In that case, you can start doing it for your partner. For example, to tighten your figure a little or improve your culinary skills. When you meet, it will be pleasant for you to brag to each other about your achievements and you can discuss how difficult it was for you to give some moments.

9. Discuss your joint plans for the future in order to know what you are moving towards, in order to understand why you are now trying and experiencing difficulties and problems in relationships at a distance.

10. Remember: many things get better with time, and relationships get better and warmer. We must hope.

11. Meet more often. Relationships cannot develop harmoniously if you communicate only by phone. Take every opportunity to meet. Schedule regular visits and stick to the plan strictly. Only a clear routine will help you maintain a relationship.

12. One of the most simple ways to destroy even the most beautiful relationships is to poison them with distrust and jealousy. When you start a long distance relationship, you should be prepared for the challenges that come with it. You need to be a priori confident in the honesty and innocence of your partner. If your loved one went to a party with friends, you don’t need to arrange interrogations afterwards, why he didn’t call when he arrived home, didn’t send an SMS, why he stayed so late and why he didn’t pick up the phone in the morning. No need to think that relationships put the usual life on pause. Do not give up entertainment, meet friends, enjoy life. However, keep a balance, you should not be completely naive and close your eyes to the obvious facts that speak of your partner's betrayal, but you should not spoil yourself and his nerves with excessive suspicion.

13. Keep a positive attitude, do not allow yourself to focus on the negative aspects of a relationship at a distance for a minute. Yes, you are far from your “candy”, but you can pay more attention to work, hobbies, and your interests. In addition, such relationships force you to constantly invent new ways of communication, they reveal your creative side, which will positively affect all aspects of life. Your positive will be transferred to your loved one, you will feel the support of each other.

14. Give your loved one some personal trinket that he can carry with him and touch it at a difficult moment, and feel your warmth. Such cute things give a feeling of happiness and make you think of you.

15. Harmonious relationships are hard work. And it is important that both partners understand this and try for the good of the relationship, which must necessarily be built on a solid foundation of trust, mutual understanding and determination. Remember to be reasonable in your expectations. What we talked about in the second paragraph. And from time to time, ask each other questions again to understand what has changed and whether you have lost interest in each other.

16. Make your own list of foundations on which relationships should be built and subscribe to it. This will be a common goal that you will work towards together. What might be on the list? Well, for example: to accept each other as they are; try to be honest and trust each other; seek compromise; seek spiritual unity; openly talk about your problems and dissatisfaction in a relationship.

17. Remember that you are still in a relationship. And you must support your loved one. If he is in trouble, if he has problems, you should do everything to be there at this moment, at least you should always be in touch. After all, if you will overcome all your hardships alone, then why do you need a relationship?

18. Since you rarely see each other, you need to make the most of and enjoy the opportunity to be alone together. And it is also very important to remain attractive to each other, the feeling of excitement fades over time, if you do not support it.

Any relationship is hard work. Long distance relationships are a job that is several times more difficult. However, for sure each of you will be able to tell at least one story about a couple who have been happy for a long time, despite the fact that thousands of kilometers separate the lovers. We hope that our article will help those who may have begun to get a little tired and despair. Think positive and be happy!

If during a long separation a person realized that he was very bored and wants to maintain the same passion in a relationship, then it is necessary to adhere to simple recommendations. We must try to communicate more and more. Discuss each other's daily concerns. You can try to do something together: watch an interesting movie or TV program and discuss what you see. Do not be shy about talking about your feelings and experiences.

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An important condition for maintaining a relationship is complete trust in the partner. Do not try to control his every step, this will harm the relationship.

Features of relationships at a distance

The reason for a long separation can be different circumstances: studying abroad, a new position at work in another city or country, military service, urgent matters related to the health of one of the relatives, and others. It should be borne in mind that long-distance relationships are different from the usual relationship of a couple in love.

As experience shows, the main difficulty is the lack of tactile contact. If in ordinary life a girl shows her feelings with kisses, gentle touches to a young man, then at a distance this can be done only with the help of the timbre of her voice, intonation, words.

Communication through the phone, the Internet limits the transfer of their feelings in non-verbal ways. "Smilies" and punctuation marks cannot convey what, one can say with a glance, gesture, facial expression, body movement, one cannot see the reaction of a loved one to the girl's words. This contributes to the distance of lovers.

At a distance, the feeling of distrust intensifies, since it becomes almost impossible to control a partner.

But this should not be done, since a person cannot constantly sit on Skype and chat with a girl. A loved one should have personal space. He needs to meet friends, communicate with colleagues.

In a long separation and distance from each other, those qualities of character that were not previously noticeable in a partner can manifest themselves. These are both positive and negative features.

How to communicate with a man so that he always has an interest

How to support love?

Long-distance relationships can both strengthen the feelings and passion between lovers, and become the reason for parting. To build long-term strong relationships, we must learn to overcome life's difficulties and hardships together. Keeping feelings in a situation where you do not see your lover is not easy, but quite real. Simple tips and tricks will help in this situation:

1. It is impossible to build a relationship without complete confidence in your partner. If you constantly control a man, try to convict him of treason, then this will only aggravate an already difficult situation. If a man stopped writing, then this is not a reason to suspect him of something. Unreasonable jealousy can lead to betrayal.
2. You need to communicate with a man when you really want to talk. Don't do it just because you have to. This is what hurts the relationship. Nothing bad will happen if a young man spends one evening with friends.
3. Intimate life is extremely important for strong relationships. A long separation deprives this opportunity. But a girl needs to support the sexual interest of a man in every possible way. It is necessary to make a man think only about his beloved and want to return to her as soon as possible.
4. Even when apart, you need to build relationships in the same way as in ordinary life, maintain a common life, discuss the events of the past day with your boyfriend.
5. Communication with your loved one should be easy and pleasant. To do this, you can ask him for advice or ask for help. The psychology of men is such that it is important for them to feel needed. But do not ask for something that he cannot fulfill at a distance.
6. To diversify relations with a partner, joint plans and prospects should be built. This unites a couple in love and helps to survive temporary difficulties. To begin with, you can discuss how the young man and the girl want to spend the day of the future meeting.
7. Do not be shy to talk about your thoughts, feelings, desires. The lack of such frank conversations becomes the main cause of misunderstanding in relationships.
8. Romance will help save feelings. You can make some kind of pleasant surprise even at a distance. For example, write a poem, sing a song on Skype, draw a beautiful picture, then scan it and send it to your loved one.
9. Respect each other's personal space. You have to be careful with surprises. If a girl decides to unexpectedly come to her beloved, then you need to be sure that he is not busy and will be able to pay attention to her.

Difficulties can occur at any moment. In order to survive them, one should learn to cope with them together, even at a distance. Otherwise, the relationship will be doomed to failure.