How to forget bad memories. How to forget the bad memories that hurt? Forget unhappy love

14.02.2021

In the life of any person there are things or cases that he would like to forget. Yes, that's just the memory does not want to let go of these bad memories. These memories are so strongly embedded in the brain that the head cannot get rid of them. So how do you forget the past when it doesn't want to go? What methods should be used to erase what is not needed from the head? How to clear your head of debris? More on that below!

It is usually said that while a person lives in the past, the future is closed to him. And in general, while a person lives in the past or future, he is not in the present, and if a person does not live in the present, then he is not happy. If you are happy now, then you are definitely living in the present. Therefore, it is simply necessary to get rid of past memories, otherwise the door to a happy future is buried for you.

Why do you think a person remembers certain events clearly and for a long time, while forgetting others instantly? It's all about emotions. Man is primarily an emotional being. And if one event caused a powerful surge of emotions, then this event is fixed in the memory for a long time or forever. Those events that do not cause any emotions are quickly forgotten. And if you can’t forget something now, it means that something caused strong emotions in you, and negative ones at that. It can be disappointment, resentment, and so on. That's what's stuck in your head.

Forgetting the past intentionally is almost impossible. After all, when you consciously try to forget something, you thereby only remind yourself of a situation. Now, if I tell you - do not think about the pink elephant - what will you think about? Probably about the pink elephant. In this case, the same thing happens. Hence the conclusion: the harder we try to forget something, the better we remember it.

How to forget the past?

It happens that some things, people and even familiar places of the city prevent us from forgetting the past. Like it or not, while all this is nearby, it will be difficult to forget the past. For example, you have gone through a difficult breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend. You strongly want to forget her or him. But as long as there is something that reminds you of her or his existence, you will not be able to forget. Therefore, the first and correct step would be getting rid of things that remind you of something negative which you want to get rid of.

Try to avoid a place in the city where some negative event has happened. Perhaps your loved one left you at a cafe, or you were robbed on Tverskaya Street, or something else that is better not to remember. Go around these places until you forget the past. Over time, it will become easier and you will again calmly walk where something unpleasant happened to you.

Second tip - just wait. As they say, time heals. It really is. Any emotion, no matter if it is positive or negative, it is still replaced by another. There is no persistence in this case. Time will pass, and you will stop remembering any unpleasant event. You just have to be patient for a while and things will settle down on their own.

The next option is rethink the past in such a way that it ceases to seem negative. It's no secret that negative experiences are more memorable than positive ones. And many people believe that they are more unlucky than lucky. Actually it is not. In the case of a negative event, try to make it stop causing you to negative emotions and be considered a failure.

For example, you were fired from your job, say seven years ago. Then you were very worried about this. But after being fired, you were forced to open your own business and start working for yourself. Now you have a luxurious cottage, a car, and so on. What would have happened to you today if you had not been fired seven years ago? Now they would go to work with a salary of 20,000 rubles, they would not have such a beautiful car, a summer house and the opportunity to relax. Therefore, that day should be considered successful.

Another example, your boyfriend dumped you! So what? As if the world had converged on him like a wedge. By the way, a crowd of other guys have already lined up around you who found out about it. You just don't notice them because you're suffering from a breakup. See how the past interferes with the present, and therefore the future. So, I know many stories when the girls did not hide the fact that after a difficult breakup they met the guy of their dreams, for whom later. They, like you, believed that they would never meet anyone else, and that they would remain alone for life. Hell no! Everything they had then was tip-top, and now they live happily and in harmony.

I know it's hard for you to see something good now when everything seems terrible, but time will pass, and you will see for yourself. And now take a piece of paper and start writing down the positive aspects of what happened. Who knows what your future life will be like if you didn't get this experience today.

Most people help to forget the past - a change of scenery. As I said, you better avoid those places that remind you of something. If you take a vacation and fly to another country, you are guaranteed to forget the past. It will be very nice if you are distracted during the holidays. During the rest you can get a pleasant and cheerful company, which with its positive will not let you think about the bad. It happened to me personally, and it can happen to you. A change of scenery is almost like starting a new life.

The next way is to occupy oneself with something. Stop procrastinating the same thing, it's already gone. It's time to think about the future. and start getting there. In the process, the brain thinks only about one thing -. The rest doesn't bother him. So take advantage of this unique moment.

And now the most powerful way to forget the past. This method is not aimed at forgetting it, but at remembering it. What I mean? There is a science called Dianetics. So, her method is very simple. You need to close your eyes and mentally move and experience that negative event until it stops evoking emotions in you. You replay the event in your head from beginning to end over and over again. In this way, you will erase engrams (such as programs associated with the event) in your head. Give yourself two hours of time and start experiencing that unpleasant event many times over. At the end of the session, it will become much easier for you, and you will simply become too lazy to think about that event (thought of it).

That's all I wanted to say in the article "How to forget the past?". And remember, whatever happens to you - everything in your life will be just great. Good luck to you!

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Memory is one of the most important, influencing his whole life. And many people take the problem of developing their memorization skills very seriously. Fortunately, there are a huge number of opportunities today: various trainings, courses, seminars and other training programs. If a person has a need to improve his memory, he can easily find suitable materials. However, much less attention is paid to the problem of forgetting, although its importance is by no means less. Indeed, many of us often have a desire to get rid of some memories, sensations from the past, and simply free our memory from unnecessary information. This is what we decided to talk about.

Among the many designed to improve memory, there are special methods designed for intentional forgetting. Their combination is called aircraft technology. This term itself is rooted in Greek mythology, in which the notorious river Lethe was often mentioned (remember the common expression “to sink into oblivion”). Lethe is the river of oblivion, which was located in the underground possessions of Hades. Dead souls that enter his realm, after drinking the water from Lethe, have forever forgotten that they have ever lived.

So what is the use of aircraft technology and what exactly is it used for? To begin with, it is worth saying that the property of human memory to forget is its integral component, because. thanks to it, mnemonic processes are complete. And many Russian and foreign psychologists have spoken and are talking about this. It is the ability to forget that helps a person to erase from memory something that happened in the past, but which has a destructive effect on the psyche and personality in the present, as well as any information that is currently irrelevant. These are the two main reasons why it is recommended to master the techniques of forgetting.

There are two main flight techniques: suppression and removal. Let's consider each of them separately.

suppression

This method is considered precisely as a psychotherapeutic one, i.e. thanks to him, it becomes possible to forget what has a traumatic effect on the psyche. Often, some memories of negative events bother people and pop up in their memory more and more often because of their bright emotional coloring. A person begins to react sharply to this, to be afraid of these memories, and they become stronger. To eliminate these and other possible intrusive thoughts, as a rule, two exercises are used.

"Burning Letter"

Write down on a piece of paper all the memories that make you feel negative emotions. Describe them in detail. Then take this sheet, crumple it and put it in a pre-prepared refractory container. Ignite the crumpled sheet. Watch the flames. And while the leaf burns, imagine how all the memories that disturb you burn with it, and then turn into ashes. As soon as the paper is completely burnt out, spread this ashes into the wind, throwing it out, for example, through a window.

The essence of this exercise is not only that it helps to get rid of unnecessary memories, but also to become their master. It is by having the opportunity to dispose of his memories that a person can get rid of them. It may even be unpleasant to some extent, but the result is worth it, because a person no longer needs to defend himself from annoying thoughts, suppress them, because. he can simply describe them and burn them. And fire, as you know, has always been the best psychotherapist for people: looking at it, people were cleansed of what was psychologically pressing on them, “thrown a heavy burden off their shoulders.” If a person has a vivid imagination, he is able to almost literally imagine how his troubles and misfortunes are burned along with paper, freeing memory from a heavy burden.

"TV set"

Sit in a comfortable chair or sofa and assume a comfortable body position. Try to project your negative experiences in detail onto the large television screen created in your imagination. After that, pick up the same imaginary remote control and turn off the sound of your "movie". View it as a silent movie. Then gradually make the image blurry and dull. Imagine that it becomes less and less bright and disappears completely.

The most important thing in this exercise is not to rush. No need to try to complete the entire exercise in a couple of minutes. On the contrary, you need the process as detailed as possible. For example, you can imagine turning off the TV after the picture disappears, unplugging the power cord, picking up the TV, holding it up to the window, and throwing it away.

You can also dream up with the film itself: translate the plot from drama to comedy. Simulate the continuation of the situation in a comical way, put a funny melody or a stupid song on the image, imagine that you are not playing the role, but one of the comedic actors. Become the director of your memories - so you can manage and control them. If you don't need them, throw them out of your "video library".

Even if "Burning Letter" and "TV" do not completely rid you of memories, you will no longer be afraid of them anyway. And if you are not afraid of them, then they will surely become indifferent to you. And the fact that a person is indifferent, quite rarely disturbs his memory.

Removal

This is the second flight technique. It is intended to a greater extent in order to remove from memory information that has lost its relevance, and which is only mental and emotional garbage. In the removal technique, several exercises can be distinguished.

"Aircraft Rag"

For example, your memory contains unnecessary images (words, people, pictures, data), which, although they do not negatively affect, distract your attention and interfere with concentration, free flow of thoughts, etc. Imagine all this information on a large chalk board. Then imagine how you take a wet rag and erase all those blocks of this information that you do not need. In empty places, new images can form, associated with previous ones or associated with nearby ones. Take the rag again and continue to wash. Do this until nothing appears from scratch. This technique is suitable if there is little information, because you can divide the board into several sectors and clear each of them one by one.

"Images on Film"

There are cases when the amount of information is large and a simple "aircraft rag" may not work. Then you can transform this technique a little. Imagine that all recreated images are displayed on the same board, but only it is covered with an opaque film. Fill all this tape with unnecessary data, and then just pull it off the board, immediately freeing up a lot of space on a new tape stretched over the same board. The presented technique was used at one time by an outstanding Soviet and Russian journalist, professional mnemonist and owner of a phenomenal memory, Solomon Veniaminovich Shereshevsky.

Recording

This is another technique used by S.V. Shereshevsky. He said that it always seemed funny to him that people write down everything they want to remember, because if a person writes down, why should he remember then? He decided that if he would write something down, then he did not need to memorize it. This became one of the laws of forgetting, developed by Shereshevsky, which he began to apply whenever it was necessary to forget something not very important: phone numbers, names of people, etc. You can use this trick too. Just note that the more a person writes, the less he uses his memory, and the less he uses his memory, the less trained it is and the less he can remember. Therefore, the less he writes down, the more he will train his memory, and the more he will remember. And it turns out that the recorded information is the information that should not be imprinted in memory, which means that it can be safely forgotten. A very good reception, although for many it seems somewhat paradoxical.

In conclusion, I would like to add that the more you practice forgetting unnecessary information, the faster you will master this skill. After some time, the need to use any technique will disappear by itself, because. You can forget any information and erase memories only with the help of one strong-willed effort, giving your brain the appropriate command.

Don't forget to leave a comment. We will also be interested to know which of the considered forgetting techniques seems to you the most effective.

A memory is not a one-dimensional thought or idea. This is the sum of impressions from specific events in your past. You remember not a point in time, but a lot of sensual details.

For example, if you try to remember a pleasant day spent on the beach as a child, not only the image of the river will come to mind. You will remember how warm the sand was, the smell of the wind and the taste of ice cream bought at the kiosk across the street.

Any of these sensations can become a trigger. When you buy a sundae, similar in taste to the one from childhood, you will be transported again to a hot day on a river beach.

Thus, memories are inseparable from the context.

2. How to manage memories?

Context is the most important factor for those who want to learn how to manage their memories. After all, with its help you can fix the memory. The wider and brighter the context, the stronger we remember the event.

Let's go back to the memory of a hot day at the beach. It is desirable that you detail, environment, emotions and feelings. Then the context will be formed.

If you remember the light flow of river water, the warm sand of the coast, the hot asphalt of the path next to your umbrella and the creamy taste of ice cream, the memory of this day will remain very vivid and complete for many years. The wider the context, the more varied the experience. It is he who we resurrect in memory when we recall a hot day spent in childhood.

So if we know how to use context to create a memory, can we find a way to erase our memory?

3. How can memories be erased?

The strategy of forgetting might be to allow oneself to forget particular details of the event in order to destroy the memory entirely.

To test this assumption, scientists conducted a study in which two groups of people took part. They had to learn words from two separate lists and look at photos of different landscapes at the same time to create context for the memory.

One group was told to approach the task very carefully: memorize the first list of words and only then move on to the second. The subjects from the second group were asked to first learn the words and then forget them. Then the volunteers had to repeat what they remembered.

The brain activity of the participants in the experiment was studied using functional MRI. It turned out that the subjects who forgot the learned words had a much lower level of activity in the part of the brain that is responsible for image processing. This group of participants simply let the words and images slip through their minds.

When the brain tries to remember words, facts, images, it is constantly working to create context. When the brain tries to forget something, it initially rejects the context and abstracts from it. Therefore, a memory is created with difficulty and does not last long.

If we return to the beach example, we can say this: in order to forget this day, you should specifically try to forget the taste of ice cream and hot sand under your feet.

4. Can I delete a memory completely?

Does this method work always and 100%? Of course not. To say that scientists have discovered a magical way to forget, as in the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", is impossible. We know too little about the brain and can't erase memories.

Forgetting is very helpful. We can use it to get through a traumatic experience or painful event more easily. Forgetting is necessary to clear the brain of unnecessary information.

In the experiment, participants remembered and forgot simple things: words and pictures. A real memory is dozens of details and sensory impressions, so erasing it is not so easy. But this research is the first step at the beginning of a very intriguing and alluring journey.

It looks like we can figure out how to forget unpleasant and unnecessary things. More importantly, we will learn to remember happy days and moments for life.

In the life of every person there were periods that I would like to erase from memory. Some, despite all the difficulties, pull themselves together and move to a new stage, only occasionally remembering the shocks that have occurred, others cannot help but think about the past, thereby depriving themselves of the chance to be happy in the present and future. No matter what burden of the past haunts you: parting with a loved one, missed opportunities, death of loved ones, betrayal of friends, guilt ... Now is the time to forget the past forever and start living in the present. How to stop living in the past?

Do not think about the past: why does it not let us go?

Many people wonder why some people, having survived very serious shocks and trials, quickly recover and begin new life, while others fall into years of depression and cannot stop living in the past after the unsuccessful completion of a two-month romance?

Psychology can give answers to this, much depends on age, the atmosphere in which a person lived in childhood, on the type of character and personality. And, even if you consider yourself a weak type, who takes any life trials to heart, it does not mean at all that you are not able to cope on your own and not think about the past.

Most often, we cannot forget the past and live in the present, as we feel guilty for the current situation, we are tormented by thoughts that we could have done otherwise - and thereby change the ending ...

... Sometimes the past does not allow us to forget about itself, since we do not let go of past grievances, we believe that we were treated unfairly.

Our bad memories are like a suitcase full of useless rubbish that we habitually carry everywhere with us… Do you need such a load?

… And sometimes it’s impossible to forget the past and live in the present because we like this state of self-pity, we are not ready to change, grow, we are comfortable sitting in our shell, cherishing our grief, closing ourselves off from the whole world around us. This is such masochism. How to change the situation and start enjoying life again?

How to forget the past and start living in the present: 5 steps to a happy life

Healing from old wounds is a complex and often long process, but whatever lies behind our shoulders, each of us can stop living in the past. Here are some steps that will help to part with feelings forever:

1. First step- realize that the past is past, that it is thoughts about it that prevent you from fully living in the present, planning the future. Of course, this is not easy to do, but do you really want to breathe deeply again?

2. step two- sorry. Now it does not matter who is to blame for what happened in the past, and who offended: you or offended you. It is impossible to turn back time, everything has already been done, and your suffering today will not change the fait accompli. Mentally ask for forgiveness or forgive, you can go to church. If you offended a person and know how to contact him, you can call and apologize. And that's it. Turn the page. People have the right to make mistakes: you and your loved ones are no exception. If you think that what you have done earlier is too serious or you have no one to apologize to, switch to caring for others. You cannot change what happened, but you can help others and make their lives better. Volunteer in orphanages, nursing homes or animal shelters – think along those lines.

3. Step three- don't be sorry. Regret about missed opportunities, wasted time, broken relationships is a road to nowhere. Regrets, as well as self-pity, are generally extremely destructive feelings. Try to look at the situation from a different point of view: you have gained experience, you have learned from your mistakes, you will no longer allow this situation to repeat in your life. And you know what else? Suffering and constantly pitying yourself, you destroy not only your own life, but also the lives of those close to you, who find it hard to see you in such a state. Do you feel sorry for them?

Remind yourself often that our life goes only in one direction - into the future, nothing can be turned back. Thinking about what could have been is useless

4. Step Four- reboot. If the pain is still fresh, negative emotions are bursting inside you, do not try to be strong, allow yourself to scream, cry, break a cup in the end for one day. You can go to the gym and frantically beat a punching bag. Throw out the pain outward - it will be easier to forget the past and start living in the present.

5. Step Five is the substitution rule. Think about how much time and effort you spend on nothing - not letting go of past grievances and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, you could change for the better. For starters, you can go to the salon, change the color of your hair, get a manicure, radically change your image, or do a search in the end. Sign up for driving courses, learning a foreign language, needlework. And most importantly, go in for sports. Perfectly eliminates unnecessary thoughts yoga. If you have new interests and hobbies in your life, there simply will not be room for regret and thoughts about the burden of the past.

In general, I think one of the most effective ways forget the past- to clear the physical space around you: to spend (read where p led me), to organize little things like books and ... Having let go of things from a past life, you really physically feel how life is changing!

Getting rid of the burden of the past and letting go of past grievances is much easier than you think now, the main thing is to start acting right now. In less than a few days, you will be drawn into a new, happy and interesting life.

Even with great effort, we cannot always forget certain situations from the past. However, there are several simple ways thanks to which you can get rid of unpleasant memories and start life from scratch.

Our life is divided into three categories - past, present and future. In each of these periods, certain moments happen to us that are impossible to forget. In this article, we will talk about what has already happened to us, and what needs to be left in the past forever in order to start living anew.

Memories of the past are moments that we can no longer forget. It doesn't matter if they are pleasant or not, we will always visualize them in our minds, because they are an inseparable part of ourselves. The past is the basis of our life. Every day we live can bring something pleasant and new into our life or upset us. Unfortunately, we cannot control our destiny and do not know when something important will happen to us. Because of this, unpleasant moments also occur in our lives, which leave behind not only consequences, but also negative memories. The experts of the site site offer you several ways at once with which you can let go of the past and start a new life.

Main Causes of Negative Memories

Living in the past is a thankless task. Sometimes a person involuntarily mentally returns to his former life and tries to realize his mistakes. However, in order to get rid of negative memories, you need to understand the reasons for their occurrence.

Death loved one. It is almost impossible to get rid of this memory, you can only come to terms with it. Death native person is able not only to turn our life upside down, but to divide it into “before” and “after”. For a long time, a person feels lonely, especially if he has lost a person who has always been his main support and support and with whom he has many pleasant memories.

Breakup or betrayal. Betrayal of a loved one is very difficult to survive. Cheating leaves a deep wound on the heart and makes us completely disillusioned with the opposite sex. A breakup is also one of the biggest shocks in our lives. As a rule, such memories fade into the background only with the advent of a new love. However, the fear of being abandoned again never leaves us.

Moving. Longing for former places and old acquaintances - this is faced by people who have changed their place of residence. Over time, we get used to the new city, make new friends, but the memories of the places we are used to never leave us. In this case, you just need to get used to a new life, find your pluses in it. Try to look back as little as possible, otherwise the moments of the past will never leave your consciousness.

Wrong career choice. Even in childhood, parents try to prove to us that one profession is much better or easier than another. Having enlisted the support of loved ones, we make a choice and do not even think about the consequences. Many years pass, and we bitterly recall those times when we chose our future profession, and we think that now it not only does not bring us the expected income, but also deprives us of joy. Many say that it's never too late to change your life, which means that in order to get rid of negative memories and hated work, you just need to make a decision on your own and finally choose the kind of activity that you like.

Ways to get rid of negative memories

Before learning about ways to get rid of negative memories, tune in a positive way. Do not forget that in addition to unpleasant moments in life, there are many good things. Suffering and complaining is not the way out. In this way, you harm yourself by refusing to let go of the past and start living from scratch.

Analyze your past. Before you get rid of negative memories, you need to understand some moments of your past. At this stage you need:

Let go of the past. Having experienced a series of failures, a person begins to think that one day they will be repeated in his life, and thus attracts them. Whatever mistakes you have made in the past, you must let go of the memories of them. No need to put up with the fact that troubles will occur in your life, try to present your future in the best light.
Admit your guilt. Everything that happens in our lives is partly our fault. You should not blame other people for your problems, because no one decides what you should do in a certain situation. To start life anew, you need to admit that your mistakes are your fault. Thus, you can draw conclusions for yourself and avoid difficulties in the future.
Forget your mistakes. Perhaps once you betrayed a loved one or committed another, no less bad deed. This does not mean that memories of him and a sense of shame should haunt you all your life. At this stage, it is important to understand that you are a person, and it is common for any person to make mistakes. Your task is to avoid doing things in the future that will make you torture yourself.

After analyzing your past, you must draw a conclusion for yourself. If at this stage you got rid of some unpleasant memories and were able to forgive yourself, then you did everything right.

Take a lesson from the past. Everything that happens to us should not disappear without a trace. Even from an unpleasant situation, you can learn a useful lesson that will help you avoid missteps in the future. Our past is an invaluable experience, because all the events that took place directly related to us. Your task is to draw from it the main and useful and let it go. However, not many people are able to do this. Many continue to step on the same rake, clinging to a past life and making mistake after mistake.

Release from negative memories. The most important stage has come, at which you must completely get rid of negative memories. For this you will need:

Choose the right mood. Start every morning with the thought that today will bring you new pleasant memories.
Psychological reception with water. If negative memories don't leave you, turn on the faucet and imagine them flowing away with the water.
Get rid of things that are associated with negative memories. If there are things in the house with which you have negative memories, get rid of them. For example, after parting with a loved one, you do not need to keep gifts and joint photos, no matter how dear they are to you. One glance at them will pull you into the past, preventing you from moving forward.
Change the environment. If the environment around you makes you sad and provokes unpleasant memories, make changes to it. In this case, you can do repairs or buy new furniture. If you have long wanted to change your place of residence, then the time has come to take action. Such chores will not only help you distract from negative thoughts, but will also be the first step towards starting a new life.
Change appearance. To understand your true inner state, you need to look at yourself in the mirror. Most likely, your appearance will even make you feel sorry for yourself. Think about whether your memories are worth such sacrifices? Head to the beauty salon, fitness center and browse the boutiques. Change your appearance so that, looking at your reflection, you feel confident and ready for new victories and achievements.
Thank and forgive your offenders. Of course, you do not need to make an appointment in person for every offender, but mentally you must forgive them, even if it is not easy. Resentment, hatred, anger, the desire for revenge - all this is an extra burden that prevents you from starting a new life. Get rid of it and you will feel better.
Master meditation. Meditative practices help to relax and release thoughts from everything unnecessary, including negative memories. With the help of meditation, you will learn to focus your attention only on important and pleasant things, which means that the past itself will go into the background.
Get rid of bad habits. Bad habits litter a person's life. Minutes that you could spend on something more important and useful, you spend to your detriment. First of all, you need to get rid of alcohol. Alcoholic beverages have a negative effect on nervous system, and during their use, people begin to be overcome by past life memories and negative thoughts. By getting rid of addictions, you will do a huge service to yourself and your body.

Meditation to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and memories

Meditation - The best way relax and get rid of negative memories. This meditation practice is notable for its simplicity, and it can be performed at any time of the day.

First, choose a quiet place and sit comfortably. It is best to meditate in nature, but if you do not have such an opportunity, you can do it at home, but be sure to retire.

Imagine that you are in a beautiful place, a harmonious, peaceful atmosphere reigns around you, and the only thing that prevents you from taking a step forward is a heavy bag that you hold in your hands. In your mind, you must open it and see that there are stones in it. Imagine that each of them is one of your unpleasant memories. Start mentally throwing them out of your life by repeating:

I let go of my past;
I myself (a) can control my thoughts;
I am free from my memories;
I am ready to part with my memories and start a new life;
I live in the present;
I love only myself and my family;
I can meet a new love;
I will find