Does life after 45 years. The crisis of maturity and family relationships

With age, not only lifestyle, clothing style and eating habits should change, but also ways to maintain health and appearance. After all, the body of a woman at 20 and 50 years old is two big differences: everything functions differently internal organs, and, accordingly, the appearance changes: the condition of the skin, hair, nails. In order to resist negative trends, it is necessary to organize care for one's own body in accordance with age - whoever does not do this will drastically reduce the time of their active life and accelerate the process of external aging.

Women's health after 45 years

There are several common factors that affect a woman's health in the second half of her life. Let's look at them, and then develop a set of activities that contribute to better health at this age.

1. Stress, emotional and psychological fatigue. By the age of 45, many events take place in the life of every woman, and not all of them leave a positive imprint in the mind. To save yourself from stress, it can be useful to look at life easier, as well as quarrel less with relatives.

2. Probably, no woman after 45 can boast of absolute health. Stress, poor nutrition, poor environment contribute to the development of at least one, and most often several chronic diseases.

3. The work of the endocrine glands changes, and as a result, the hormonal background in the woman's body changes and, as a result, the work of all internal organs.

In order not to be an outside observer of the processes occurring in the body after 45 years, women must observe a number of general rules and recommendations. These tips should naturally be supplemented and adjusted by the recommendations of a personal doctor.

1. Nutrition. Vitamins and minerals are needed by both men and women at any age, but women after 45 should pay attention to the following:

- Regular intake of vitamin A. The easiest way to do this is with the help of such foods: dates, green peas, soybeans, pumpkin, cabbage, dried apricots, tomatoes, prunes, spinach, veal liver and cod liver.

- B vitamins are also needed, for this we eat: wholemeal bread, yeast, peas, fish, nuts, liver.

- The easiest way to get vitamin C is from cabbage, onions, beets, citrus fruits, and currants.

- Vitamin E - from cold-pressed sunflower oil, soybean oil, walnuts.

- To get calcium, we eat: dairy products, buckwheat, seaweed, parsley, beets, carrots.

- Phosphorus is enough in cheeses, cottage cheese, eggs.

- We get iron from plums, nuts, black bread, meat products.

- Potassium is enough in potatoes, porcini mushrooms, grapes, peaches, dried apricots.

- To get magnesium, we eat: black bread, cocoa, nuts, seeds, seafood.

In addition, in the nutrition of a woman after 45 years, one should pay attention to this.

- Reduce the amount of sugar you consume.

- If you eat chocolate, then only natural, black.

- Do not eat foods that contain a lot of fat.

- If you prefer to eat fried food, cook it in a Teflon-coated pan.

- It is best to refuse cakes and other factory muffins altogether.

2. Full sleep for 6-8 hours after the age of 45 for a woman is especially important, both appearance and health depend on it.

3. Usually by the age of 45, every woman gains at least a little extra weight. If this weight is 3-5 kilograms more than it was at 30 years old, and at the same time it is stable, you should not worry and try to get rid of these kilograms. If there are already more than 10 extra pounds, then you need to pay attention to this and take steps to optimize your weight.

4. Psychological condition. By the age of 45, most women achieve what they aspired to at the age of 20-25 - a family, children, a position in society already exists. In order not to fall into the trap of the "midlife crisis", you need to find and set yourself new goals and horizons of self-realization, in some area of ​​life or creativity. If this is done on time, then the void in life is filled, which in many women leads to a depressed state and even depression.

5. Once a year, you need to be examined by a mammologist - a specialist who monitors the condition of the mammary glands.

6. At least once a year to visit a gynecologist.

Features of skin care after 45 years

The skin obeys the general laws of physiology and ages along with the body; these factors “help” it in this:

1. Malnutrition.

2. Improper care.

3. Hormonal changes in the body and deterioration of the internal organs.

4. Deterioration of the immune system.

For these reasons, metabolism in the skin is disrupted and slowed down, blood supply worsens and, accordingly, nutrition, subcutaneous fat becomes thinner, the elasticity of elastic fibers decreases, the functioning of the sebaceous and sweat glands is disrupted - at 45 years old, the sebaceous glands secrete 3 times less fat than in youth.

These negative trends can be partially counteracted with the help of these measures.

1. Cleanse the skin with a mild cleanser in the morning and evening.

2. Be sure to use nourishing creams - night and day.

3. Sufficient sleep on a low pillow.

4. Regularly perform exercises for the muscles of the neck and face.

5. Conduct a course of cosmetic massage 2-3 times a year.

6. If possible, perform self-massage daily.

7. Regularly use masks based on algae or therapeutic mud.

8. Be sure to use a protective cream daily.

9. With the help of a beautician, choose a skin care program for yourself in a beauty parlor.

Hair care after 45 years.

During this period of life, due to metabolic disorders, nervous stress, overwork, unbalanced nutrition (in particular, mineral deficiency), the hair follicle and the body of the hair itself are destroyed, the hair becomes thinner along its entire length. The sebaceous glands atrophy, the synthesis of melanin decreases - the hair loses its color, turns gray. The structure of the hair changes. Hair absorbs smoke and dust from the air faster, which also contributes to the deterioration of their appearance and health. Another important negative factor that worsens the condition of hair at this age is a decrease in the body's production of the hormone estrogen.

There are several options (ideally, use them in combination) to improve the condition of the hair and body of a woman after 45 years.

1. Use products containing the hormone estrogen directly. But such therapy can only be carried out under the guidance of a doctor.

2. After 45 years, you should use special shampoos and conditioners.

3. It is necessary to include foods containing phytoestrogens in your diet. Pomegranates, dates, spinach, carrots, broccoli, linseed oil will be useful. Eat red grapes, clover, alfalfa. Fish, soy, nuts, seeds, seafood, parsley and dill should be eaten regularly.

4. Take care of the cleaning of blood vessels (elimination of atherosclerosis). With age, due to atherosclerosis, capillary circulation is disturbed (the scalp is one of the first to suffer from this), as a result, the hair roots receive a minimum of nutrients and atrophy. Clean blood vessels are the key to normal blood circulation and proper nutrition of the hair roots. This can be achieved if you refuse the following foods: any canned food, sweets, flour products and excessively fatty foods.

5. Use antioxidants extensively in both food and external hair care products. First of all, you need to pay attention to vitamins E, C and A, as well as the element selenium.

6. Carry out courses of massage or self-massage of the head with aromatic oils. Thanks to this, the nutrition of the hair follicle improves, the cells of the hair shaft are restored, the elasticity of the hair increases, dandruff is eliminated and dead cells of the upper layer of the skin are exfoliated.

And we must remember that beauty before the age of 25 is a gift, after 25 it is already work, and after 45 it is hard work.

The fortieth birthday is traditionally considered a difficult age, a crisis frontier. It seems that, having celebrated this sad anniversary, you will instantly turn from a girl or a young man into a woman and a man. Ahead is only old age and decay, lack of prospects and the upcoming pension.

A couple of centuries ago, such an age was indeed considered advanced. But who today will call Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp who celebrated their 54th birthday old? And 43-year-old Angelina Jolie is an old woman?

Even the World Health Organization has made adjustments to the age classification.

Young people are now considered to be between 18 and 44 years old. And 45–59 years is the average age.

This means only one thing: 40 years is a great time, very suitable for starting a new life, implementing bold projects, changing jobs and other actions that are out of the standard life schemes. All you need is desire.

Feel all the benefits

Those over 40 have several important benefits. Behind them, as a rule, they already have education (sometimes more than one), accumulated experience and good connections. They know what they want and represent what it takes to be successful. They don't expect manna from heaven to fall on them. Although such a possibility is not ruled out, because everything happens in life.

They have time-tested friends, relatives and loved ones nearby. Children, most likely, have already grown out of diapers, study at school or university. Communication with them gives 40-year-olds an amazing opportunity to understand how two generations live at once, and draw conclusions from this.

Of course, a lot depends on what kind of baggage and attitude a person has approached this milestone. After all, it also happens that you have spent two decades in the office in the status of an assistant or junior manager.

Remember: it's not too late to change something

The most common phobias associated with the upcoming 40th anniversary relate to the thesis “it’s too late to change something”: they won’t take new job, nothing will work out in my personal life, I won’t understand new technologies, I won’t fit into the team ... But is it really so?

Analyzing the activities of more than twenty-five thousand people, I found that few people achieved outstanding success before the age of forty. Most often they were already under fifty when they gained the necessary speed.

Napoleon Hill, American writer

These words are backed up by many examples:

1. It was at the age of 40 that the American Henry Ford founded the famous Ford Motor Company, which successfully exists to this day. By the way, he designed his revolutionary car Ford T at the age of 45.

2. An American engineer, one of the inventors of the integrated circuit, Robert Noyce, together with a colleague, founded Intel at the age of 41.

3. Harland David Sanders, known as Colonel Sanders, was considered a failure: all his businesses were failures. At 40, he came up with a secret fried chicken recipe that made him and the fast food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken famous.


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4. Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton laid the foundation stone for his empire at age 44. When he was 67 years old, Forbes magazine recognized Walton as the richest man in America.

5. Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's, sold paper cups until he was 52 and suffered from diabetes and arthritis. But, as he wrote in his memoirs, he "believed in the future."

6. The star of "Pulp Fiction" and "The Avengers", actor Samuel L. Jackson became famous at 43 after the release of the film "Tropical Fever", where he played, by the way, not yet the main role.

7. Kim Cattrall, the super-hot Samantha of Sex and the City, has been acting since she was 15. But fame came to her when she turned 41 and she reincarnated as one of Carrie Bradshaw's girlfriends.

8. The most charming killer from the film "Leon" Jean Reno woke up famous at the age of 46 (thanks to Luc Besson, who took him to the main role).


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9. Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho, the author of The Alchemist, became famous after 40 years, when his books began to produce multi-million copies.

10. Julia Child wrote her first hit cookbook at the age of 50. And then she became a chef.

11. Christian Dior had to achieve fame for many years. He opened his own fashion house at the age of 42.

12. American Carol Gardner divorced her husband at the age of 52 and was left without financial support. She adopted a bulldog and founded Zelda Wisdom, a greeting card company. Today, her business is valued at $50 million.

13. Austrian entrepreneur Dietrich Mateschitz co-founded Red Bull at the age of 40. Now, 30 years later, his fortune is estimated at almost $15 billion.

14. Vera Wang was a figure skater and journalist until the age of 40, but then she decided to change her life dramatically and became a famous designer in the fashion industry.


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15. American academic, mathematician James Harris Simons left the universities where he taught at the age of 44 and founded the private investment firm Renaissance Technologies Corporation. It is still considered the most successful hedge fund in the world.

All these people are united not by millions behind them, but by self-confidence, perseverance and healthy adventurism.

How to start a new life

  • First of all, assess your weaknesses and strengths. What are you proud of, and what can and should you learn. There are now a lot of useful webinars and books on the Web, both paid and free, that help you learn new directions and.
  • Determine exactly what you want. Do not dismiss the most adventurous options, allow yourself the desired forbidden fruit. Look at the examples above: if you want, you can achieve anything. Let "I can afford it" be your motto.
  • Do not think about how others will evaluate you. This is your life.
  • Forget the phrase "last chance". It can spur your desire to change your life as quickly as possible, because of which you will fill a lot of bumps. This is a great age for any start, be it a new business or yoga classes.
  • Use your accumulated experience. After all, you have probably already mastered a valuable skill: you learned to think first, and then do.

Divorce after 40-45 years is a fairly common phenomenon. But many women perceive it as the end of life, even if she is the initiator. This is due to the prevailing social habits. You need to understand that this age can be regarded as the second heyday, and divorce as freedom and opportunities. A correct perception of the situation will help a woman cope with this life stage, become happy.

Divorce at 45 woman and society

Those whose lives are divided into “before” and “after” are wondering how to live after a divorce for a woman at 45? Such questions are caused by the fear of loneliness, the feeling of uselessness. They are fueled by a society in which such a late separation is considered shameful and humiliating, even if it happened at the initiative of a woman.

According to statistics, in most cases it is a man who initiates a divorce after 45 years.

Life after a divorce at 45 is frightening with the unknown, so a woman can cling to any opportunity to maintain the appearance of a family and well-being. If feelings have faded, the husband treats badly, it makes no sense to maintain such an alliance. Before making a decision, it is important to understand that you should not be guided by the opinions of others, otherwise it will affect the psychological and physical health of a woman.

To survive a breakup with your husband, you need to tune in to the positive, look for the positive aspects of this step.

The main reasons for a late breakup

Divorce at 45 is a serious and responsible step, which is quite difficult to decide after many years of living together. Experts studying this issue have identified the TOP reasons why couples break up in adulthood:

  • Treason. In most cases, the culprit of this is a man who, experiencing a midlife crisis, an acute desire to prolong his youth, finds a woman much younger than him.
  • The children have grown up, the couple has nothing more in common. In fact, they have long ceased to be a couple, love has passed, there are no common interests. Perhaps one of the partners has gone far ahead in self-development, considering the second an unnecessary burden.
  • Careerists. When both are too actively pursuing a career, leaving no room for the family. Their interests become different, feelings pass.
  • Gen. You need to understand that a family needs to be built constantly. When a husband and wife stop conquering each other, and their relationship is reduced to a certain range of duties around the house, this sooner or later ceases to suit both.
  • Finance. Here arise various options: when he earns a lot, and she is treated like a servant, she pulls the family on her own, working at several jobs, the woman earns more than the man, striking at his manhood.
  • Alcohol and drug addiction. The most terrible, but not uncommon reasons. When a woman gets tired of fighting, she just leaves.

In adulthood, a woman remains interesting, attractive, so there are chances to find a worthy man.

Divorce at 45: how to survive a woman?

How to survive a divorce at 45 for a woman? First you need to understand that life does not end at this event, so you should not fall into despondency and depression. It is better to live alone than next to an unloved, disrespectful person. Psychologists recommend several tricks that will help improve life after a divorce at 50. The main thing is to understand that everything is in your hands and head. To tune in to the positive is the most difficult thing in such a situation, but the most necessary.

Lack of feelings and infidelity are among the most common reasons for divorce.

Appearance comes first!

A woman at 50 after a divorce becomes discouraged, stops caring for herself. And this is wrong. 45-50 years old is female maturity, not old age, so you don’t need to deliberately make yourself an old woman.

Make a rule to regularly visit a hairdresser, beautician, do a manicure. Let the masters help you choose a fashionable haircut and hair color that will be appropriate for your age, but will make the lady visually younger. Review your wardrobe, throwing irrelevant things out of it. Fashion magazines, feature articles on the Internet will help you choose colors and styles.

Be sure to go in for sports. It is enough to perform simple exercises at home, an hour walk. This will improve the complexion, help to lose a few pounds. It will also help proper nutrition- review your diet. Believe me, this will make you get out of the usual, oppressive circle, will force out sad thoughts about your own uselessness.

We are looking for positive aspects, getting rid of complexes

How to survive a divorce at 45? Look for the positive aspects of this step. This may seem difficult at first, but it is absolutely necessary to do it. For example, “now I can go to a cafe with my friends, which my husband didn’t allow me to do before”, “you can make a dressing room out of the closet, but before his fishing rods were gathering dust there.”

Down with public opinion

The biggest problem is public opinion. After all, they say around that it’s impossible, it’s wrong, now nobody needs you. These are stupid things that you shouldn't pay attention to. Remember, your life, you have only one. Therefore, live it the way you want, not neighbors, relatives, friends or children. They may be offended that you are breaking up with your husband, but they do not know your feelings and all the circumstances (especially if there is a divorce after 50 years at the initiative of a woman).

During this period, many open their own business, begin to travel, find an interesting hobby.

Don't get depressed after a divorce. Despite the mature age, now you can realize yourself.

Divorce at 45: pros and cons

Divorce after many years of marriage has positive aspects:

  • There are opportunities to engage in self-development, a favorite thing, to afford what was not allowed before.
  • In modern society, the chances of a woman in adulthood to arrange a personal life are the same as those of male peers.
  • The opportunity to renew feelings, passion, lost in a couple for many years. If this is the problem, then the couple can get together.
  • Children have grown up, so you can fully devote time to yourself: take care of your appearance, career, etc.

The divorce of a 50-year-old woman is not the end of life, it is her beginning. If you want to make an appointment with a doctor or get a free consultation, go to.

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It is extremely important for women to know everything about their health - especially for primary self-diagnosis. This rapid test will allow you to better listen to the state of your body and not miss important signals in order to understand whether you need to contact a specialist and make an appointment.

A mature woman owns the world [How to be happy in the world of men] Galina Markovna Lifshits

Is there life after 45? Real story one life told by a wonderful woman

Is there life after 45?

A real life story told by a wonderful woman

I became friends with Elena thanks to my blog You can take all the blessings and horrors of the Internet as you like, but the blog gave me some amazing acquaintances. One of them grew into sympathy and friendship. And - pay attention - this is also a great happiness and expansion of the boundaries of people's communication.

Life story Elena Vanina(she did not hesitate to allow her story to be published under her own name) shocked me. And what she had to experience. And the way she withstood these trials. And a reward!

But everything is in order. Elena's word:

What does happiness smell like? The sun, the sea, the summer Baltic breeze, the sand, which, warming and caressing, crumbles under our feet ... Happiness is his eyes, his gaze, from which I “disappear”, forgetting about time, and the words “Smile, Lenochka! Your smile suits you so well...

It is now. And before?! Before there was pain and trouble.

But everything is in order. On my fortieth birthday, I was in coma, in the intensive care unit of the Burn Center of the Military Medical Academy. No other hospital in St. Petersburg accepted me. The injuries and poisoning were too severe carbon monoxide. The condition is extremely serious, but stable. So for 21 days they answered my relatives in the information desk, who every morning with a beating heart inquired about my health. They warned right away - “not a tenant” ... BUT you have to hope and believe. Miracles happen.

What happened to me? I will answer that it was an accident. About true reasons I don’t want to talk about the fire in our apartment, and, to be honest but, before I don't know the end. The version of the investigation - a firecracker flew into the open window of the kitchen window. On New Year's Eve, in the morning, the kitchen caught fire, then the living room. I tried to extinguish, but lost consciousness. That's how the hospital and intensive care happened.

And, contrary to all forecasts, it was a miracle: I regained consciousness and on the twenty-second day of my stay in the hospital I started my life anew, not even imagining how different everything would be in my life. It was hellish work and crazy pain. Pain from a badly burned body ... And labor, because I learned to do everything again. Hands first. It took incredible effort to bring my palms up to my face (to make sure - everything is intact there!). It took me a couple of hours to complete this simplest movement... Then roll over - first on one side, then on the other! Another day latervictory – sat up in bed! After a few days of hard training, I was already up. For a long time I learned to just stand still, then walk. First, step by step - a long hospital corridor, then stubbornly mastered the stairs. Learned to hold a spoon. I learned to speak, because I forgot how to do this too ... After all, the voice also disappeared, I could only whisper ... Dad, mom, son - they supported me, and when they were allowed, they came every day. My daughter was still too young then, she did not understand much. But when they brought her to me, she did not recognize me, she was frightened, pulled away, and began to cry. I covered her head with my hand, she calmed down, looked up at me: “Mom!” I found out...

You know, I thought then that all the worst was over, that we had coped and everything would be fine with us. So, as before, five years ago, we will again be a big friendly family ...

I had a husband. Favorite and native person. We met in college and it was love at first sight. We were young and happy.

Now, looking back, I understand that in our family a lot rested on me. I don’t want to say bad words, especially since I’m not an angel and I’m probably far from the ideal wife. There were quarrels, tears, reproaches. The husband loved noisy companies, holidays, walked. I knew this and forgave it, thinking that if he doesn’t leave, he tries to hide his adventures - it means that it’s not serious that he still loves me and values ​​\u200b\u200bthe family. It became unbearable Last year before the fire. We fought almost every day. He came after midnight, I knew perfectly well where he was ... But attempts to call him to straight Talk and my words “I do not hold you, make a choice” did not lead to anything.

On New Year's Eve, we quarreled, after midnight he went to celebrate with friends, I stayed at home with my daughter. That's how it all happened. My daughter ran out, when we smelled smoke, I stayed ...

He came to see me at the hospital, but behaved like a complete stranger ... He took me from the hospital to a rented apartment, brought the children there. I, stupid, naive, wondered: why did he buy three pillows and three blankets? There are four of us ... After a week of waiting for his return from a “business trip”, I got through to my husband and whispered: “Where are you? Why don't you come to us?" And she heard the answer: “I will never be with you, I will live separately, family life not for me, I am a lone wolf.

From the very first day of my illness, he lived with his mistress, and never went on a business trip. And after the fire, it was not he, dad, who took the children to him, but our friends.

Again, I won't speak badly of him. But I still can't understandwhy?

I ask now: “Why didn’t we talk to you even once (I tried, but you didn’t want to), why didn’t you honestly tell me once that you stopped loving me ?! I would understand. Yes, it would hurt. But at least be honest.

Why did you leave the kids the moment I was dying?

Why did you think that your happiness and love is more important than our children?

He just disappeared. We didn't know anything about him for several months.

I was crushed. Both mentally and physically. The pain that I experienced in the hospital is nothing compared to how painful my soul was, how unbearably it ached from resentment, from grief, from despair.

For three years I could not recover. Three years are simply deleted from my life. That was not me. I can not understand, how she allowed herself three long years of weakness and lack of will. There was a lot - and a cornice open window on the 8th floor of a rented apartment, and an empty brandy bottle, and tears, and phone calls with humiliating requests to return ...

But the children saved, parents - their need for me. The money was badly needed. Therefore, instead of a sanatorium and disability registration, instead of empty experiences, I returned to work. And there was God. Prayer and the church have always helped me, and especially at this time. Also books and music.

Seven years have passed. Against all odds, we are family. My son, my daughter and me. And then there are my wonderful parents, there are friends.

I had the intelligence and strength to establish communication with ex-husband. For the children. He is their father, and they should communicate and see each other.

Time has passed, the pain has subsided ... But loneliness gnaws. Especially when children go about their business or on vacation, because they are already very, very adults ... Again I pray: for children, for parents, for myself ... “God, give me the strength to forgive!” And at the end of the prayers: “I would like to meet a good person!”

I think and remember a lot. I analyze. I remember my youth, my first love. And a boy classmate named Sasha. I remembered his last words to me: “No one will ever love you as much as I love you!” I didn’t take it seriously then, I laughed ... But now I remember!

Last year he found me in social network. They began to correspond. Surprisingly, his family life did not work out either. He alone raised two girls, his daughters. Also lonely. Can you imagine how much we all of a sudden have in common? How many common thoughts and experiences! For almost a year there was a daily very interesting correspondence. And then - summer, July and my vacation. He met me at the station. I got out of the car and first, What I saw was his eyes. And I realized immediately how the current hit:I love! So much that it took my breath away, to tears, to dizziness.

It is a great happiness and reward to love and be loved. It is incredibly important to trust in this. Know that you are accepted by anyone. What a pleasure to dissolve in the gaze of loving eyes and feel like a seventeen-year-old girl ... Light, funny, carefree!

We walk through my hometown, holding hands, and from our unexpectedly long-awaited happiness, the faces of passers-by brighten, smile after us ...

Probably, it doesn’t matter at all how old you are, the average annual income is not important, as well as your height and ill-fated weight ...

You can be old and unhappy even at 20, or you can be young and almost happy. in 50!

It is important to know and remember that each of us deserves happiness... You just need to really want it... Live with goodness and believe in a miracle!

Let us remember the words of a wonderful and wise person, a real woman, Elena Vanina: “It is important to know and remember that each of us deserves happiness ... You just need to really want it ... Live with goodness and believe in a miracle!” Believe! Hope! Live with goodness! Great formula!

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From the book Fathers + children [Collection of articles] author Team of authors

The story of one deuce Andrei Groshev, director of the philosophical school "New Acropolis" This story was told to me by a good friend of mine. It is simple, but, it seemed to me, very instructive for parents. School deuce ... The usual thing, you say, who doesn’t happen to? Certainly,

From the book The Secret of God and the Science of the Brain [Neurobiology of Faith and Religious Experience] by Newberg Andrew

I never thought before that when the children grow up, I will have some other life “for myself”. I didn't even know what kind of life it was.

And I approached her unprepared. My 45th birthday coincided with the 18th birthday of my youngest daughter, and in one moment I realized very clearly: my responsibility for raising children was over. And emptiness came ... And then panic - what to do now? It's no joke, 25 years in a row, without days off and holidays, to bear such responsibility. I didn't have a new baby to fill the void and give meaning to my present. But there were many regrets about the “unfinished” life and the coming loneliness.

And then I calmed down, asked myself the question “What next?” and saw something nice. As it turned out, the milestone of 45 years is the way to a new reality. And it is beautiful if you learn a few important lessons in time.

1. Free time now belongs only to you

You can decide for yourself how to fill it, how to distribute and where to invest. Lie on the couch all day, conquer Everest or cross-stitch. Feed or write poetry. You can do whatever your heart desires. Complete freedom of decision!

My find is to set aside one day a week for yourself, when you do whatever comes to mind! You just get up in the morning with any foot, go where your eyes look, and do what you want.

2. The moment has come to remember about the postponed dreams

What did you dream about in childhood, youth or ten years ago? Most likely, you won’t remember anything right away and you’ll have to dig deep into the bins of memory. But when it is found, it will be a bomb! Do not doubt! Because a dream is a dormant volcano. And if you wake him up, you can't stop the process.

And now there is plenty of time for dreams. After digging out a pent-up Latino dance dream and learning how to dance, I now hit the dance floors regularly, made Latino friends, and learned how to talk.

3. Maturity opens up new horizons for the future

After 45, life begins to slowly decline. As if you conquered the mountain, got to the top and, after admiring the views, are preparing for the descent. The middle of life has passed, and this must be recognized. The heyday has come true, ahead of gradual withering.

This is a very difficult moment - to accept your maturity and live a happy and fulfilling life. Find the pluses in this and enjoy them, and not the passing youth. She will have to let go and believe that every age has its charms. Compare a young apple and a ripe one. Feel the difference?

I came to the conclusion that the ability to be happy can and should be trained. The #100happydays marathon and Instagram helped me with this, where I collect moments of happiness in photos.

4. For a fulfilling life, you need to be with the body at the same time.

With age, the processes in the body slow down and hormonal changes occur. Now you need to be especially attentive to yourself and once a year undergo a complete examination. After all, it is very cool to be with your body at the same time and realize that it supports you in all endeavors, and does not interfere with them. When you can easily afford to ride down the hill with your grandchildren, dance at parties until five in the morning and feel like a cucumber on long flights and trips.

I made a checklist of all my weaknesses, and examinations, as well as doctors and clinics. Now I include these activities in my plan for the year, and the necessary expenses in my personal budget.

5. The environment we like, we create ourselves

If you have chosen a course for a happy life after 45, then most likely you will have to reconsider your environment and determine for yourself who all these people are. Friends? Familiar? Buddies? What do you have in common with them? What fills you with this communication? In this way, you can create circles of interest for yourself and eliminate unnecessary and draining connections.

The rule of comfortable and developing communication is not to mix topics and people from different circles. After such an “inventory”, I formed a circle of closest friends and relatives and a couple of circles of interest (dance and writing). And those people who did not enter them, gradually out of my life.

6. The inevitability of being overweight after 45 is a myth.

The most important thing is the desire to remain slim and beautiful. And then ask yourself how to do it. Because it's really not that hard. First you need to figure out your taste preferences. Then determine whether they are good or bad. And if you have bad eating habits, then look for their causes. Because you can get rid of them only by eliminating the causes.

My rules for a slim figure: eat only when you need it, as much as you need, and only what you need. If the rule does not work, then this is an occasion to ask yourself the question: what is wrong with me? What internal problems do I compensate with food?

Having accepted the fact that now life is on the decline, in order to maintain good spirits and harmony of the body, you need to move enough. Find your favorite activity. What do you like? Start running, kayaking, hiking, or just buy Scandinavian poles. Sometimes new sneakers or dancing shoes are enough to make you want to get involved in an active hobby. Because movement is life! And after 45 it is still very, very much!

My favorite activities are walking in the woods, swimming and lots of Latin dances. In winter, of course, skiing and skating, as well as skiing with grandchildren and wallowing in snowdrifts.

8. Creativity opens up a second wind in self-realization

Usually by this age it is already possible to realize oneself in some kind of activity, so a professional crisis may arise. You will want to change the usual sphere, apply your skills to another area of ​​​​interest. Here you have to dig well: what is the soul for, what lights the eyes? You can dig yourself with the help, you can ask friends to ask you questions on this topic. You can resort to the services of psychologists or coaches. Or choose a suitable online course on the topic of finding a vocation, of which there are a great many now.

I have used every method! But the most effective were online courses, after which I discovered the world of writing. This is my a parallel world for the soul, which is now in a personal blog: articles, stories and even one almost finished novel. A collection of funny poems is being prepared for publication.

They say that every woman is obliged to have a beautiful face by the age of 40. The bottom line here is that in youth we have the appearance that is given to us. And in maturity, our appearance is the work of our hands and thoughts.

The latter is much more important. If we follow our thoughts, smile and notice beautiful things in life, know how to thank people and the world around us for everything we have, and do not suffer because of what we do not have, all this will be written on our face. And over the years, this effect only intensifies. But self-care, of course, has not been canceled. Hairdresser, massage and sauna should be included in your plans regularly. Plus constant home care.

Comparing my photos with a difference of 30 years, I want to say that now I like myself much more! And I wouldn't want to go back to being 18 at all.


Photo: Yana Kurenchanina

At this age, it is very important to properly build relationships with parents and children. And most importantly - to outline their own boundaries and to distinguish the boundaries of their loved ones. The key to a non-conflict relationship is respect for someone else's space and lifestyle, even if these people are not strangers to you at all.

Do you want a correct attitude to your personal life and your territory? Decide what you are interested in doing together, and do not violate the rules of conduct in the territory of your loved ones. For example, my daughter and I love to go shopping or to a cafe together. And with the son's family - watch a movie or go out of town. And it would be foolish of me to call my daughter for a hike and my son for shopping if they can't stand it.


Photo: Yana Kurenchanina

11. Wisdom is to be happy at any age

There is such a joke: “It comes with age. But sometimes old age comes alone. It seems to me that old age lives in the head. Therefore, I am for wisdom to come alone. No old age. As long as you move, find meaning in life, rejoice, dream, monitor your health and thoughts and manage to catch moments of happiness every day, no old age is terrible for you!

To be wise is to live the life you like, do what you like, and associate with those you like. And life after 45 opens up these opportunities. And if you have reached Zen and were able to please yourself, then the world will very quickly reciprocate, do not hesitate! And all this is called - to be happy.

And wisdom after 45 is to be happy, going into the sunset of your life.