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What is stubbornness in psychology. What is the reason for the stubbornness that does not let you live? A stubborn person wastes resources senselessly


A. La Rochefoucauld-Dudovil.

A stubborn child is the result of the unreasonable behavior of the mother.
I. Korchak.

A stubborn person does not have an opinion, but an opinion has one.
A. Pope

Stubbornness has only the form of character, but not its content.

The donkey's energy manifests itself in full measure only when it does not move from its place.
Nicolae Iorga

Decisiveness: persistence in achieving a goal that you approve of. Stubbornness: persistence in achieving a goal that you do not approve of.
Ambrose Bierce

The world is not made for smart people. It is created for the stubborn and strong-minded who do not keep more than one thought in their heads at the same time.
Mary Rinehart

The willpower of the weak is called stubbornness.
Maria Ebner-Eschenbach

Patience is the child of strength, stubbornness is the fruit of weakness, namely the weakness of the mind.
Maria Ebner-Eschenbach

Stubbornness is the only strength of the weak and another weakness.
Artur Schnieiler

Stubbornness and fury of opinion are the surest proofs of stupidity.
B. Barton

The best objections for a stubborn one are like stones on the road: they are kicked away or stepped over.
P. Buast

Firmness is the application of courage of the mind; it presupposes enlightened determination. Stubbornness, on the other hand, implies blindness.
Voltaire

If the will clings only to trifles, only to something empty, then it turns into stubbornness. This latter has only the form of character, but not its content. In stubbornness - this parody of character - the individuality of a person becomes repulsive, stubbornness prevents him from communicating with others.
G. Hegel

The obstinate one insists on his will only because it is his will, he insists on it without a reasonable basis, that is, without his will being something of universal value.
G. Hegel

Stubbornness is different from perseverance. A stubborn person stubbornly defends lies, and a steadfast person defends the truth.
C. Helvetia

Among others there is a god of stubbornness,
And who served him seriously -
That's why and space
Give up sooner or later.
I. Huberman

Stubbornness is a weakness that has the appearance of strength; it comes from the imbalance in the union of the will with the mind.
V. Zhukovsky

Stubbornness is the sign of fools.
Ya. Knyazhnin

Nothing resembles sincere conviction more than malicious stubbornness.
J. La Bruyère

Stubbornness is born from the limitations of our mind: we are reluctant to believe what is beyond our horizons.
F. La Rochefoucauld

Stubbornness is the offspring of stupidity, ignorance and arrogance.
F. La Rochefoucauld

Stubbornness arises not so much from the will, but from a lack of ability.
A. La Rochefoucauld-Dudovil

If a person makes the same mistake twice, he should raise his hands up and confess either carelessness or stubbornness.
D. Lorimer

Stubbornness and excessive ardor in the dispute - surest sign nonsense.
M. Montaigne

Stubbornness has about the same relation to willpower as lust has to love.
N. Chamfort

Stubborn self-satisfaction clearly reveals the imperfect state of semi-maturity, when the sweet frivolity of youth is no longer there and the firmness of experience has not yet been acquired.
Junius

2 chose

The words are similar, but what a different meaning! Perseverance helps a person achieve any goals. And stubbornness limits opportunities, spoils relationships with people and prevents you from making the right decisions. Although sometimes a person himself does not notice how his perseverance turns into stubbornness. Let's draw a dividing line between these character traits.

Target

Perseverance is the pursuit of a specific goal. Stubbornness does not imply far-reaching goals. So, being uncompromising in some matters, think about why you need it. If the purpose of your behavior is to defend your rightness here and now, most likely, this is banal stubbornness.

In general, in any difficult or conflict situation, it is useful to ask yourself the question: "Why do I need it?" Often our actions are the result of behavioral habits, including bad ones. We do not achieve anything good in such cases.

Children and adults

Stubbornness comes from childhood. At that time, many decisions were made for us by our parents, and in response, we fought desperately for our freedom. Each concession then seemed to be the surrender of an important outpost.

The problem is that with age, children's emotions do not disappear anywhere. The child lives in each of us - along with his whims and his stubbornness. It is this baby that makes us buy another chocolate bar, do ourselves an indulgence or act in spite of others. The childish part of our psyche is necessary - without it, life would be boring. But the inner child, like any other, must be controlled. And when the kid starts to be stubborn, connect the inner adult.

Focus of attention

Perseverance and stubbornness differ in the focus of attention. By persevering, a person thinks first of all about himself, his goals and interests. The stubborn thinks too much about others and tries to prove something to them. You cannot lose an argument, change your mind or make a concession precisely because in the eyes of others it will look like a defeat. Here is a stubborn one and fights to victory. The problem is that this victory does not give him anything, it only spoils relations with people.

Someone's mind

Stubborn people and stubborn people treat other people's opinions differently. The former calmly and with interest listen to the arguments of the interlocutor, are ready to understand, and sometimes accept his position. The second is initially biased. "Yes, why listen to him, and it's so clear what he will say," - such words and even thoughts betray a stubborn one. Therefore, it is difficult to argue with them, trying to prove their case, they do not hear the words of the interlocutor. A stubborn person can change his mind in the course of a conversation, and a stubborn person will never give up.

Sometimes we ourselves do not notice how perseverance turns into stubbornness. For example, we consistently perform certain actions in order to achieve our goal. This is perseverance. But those around us unanimously convince us that the idea is bad and nothing will come of it. And gradually, internal motivation changes to external: we do not think about our goal, but about how to prove to others that they are wrong. And this is stubbornness, which prevents us from adequately assessing the situation.

To cultivate perseverance in oneself is not easy, to defeat one's own stubbornness is even more difficult. In the first case, playing sports, achieving complex goals and will training . To overcome stubbornness, we must try to respect other people's opinions, be flexible, recognize authorities and put up with our own mistakes. Also, always ask yourself what your actions will lead to and why you need it. And if the answers are disappointing, then the behavior should be corrected.


Stubbornness… It literally fettered your activity in life. As if some internal brake does not work. Any duties are perceived with hostility. Any requests cause a desire to do the opposite, because to do what others ask and want is not freedom.

Moreover, the reaction by stubbornness occurs automatically. Even when you consciously realize that it interferes. For example, when studying or at work. As soon as some business becomes a duty and you feel that you cannot help doing it, it is unbearably difficult to start it. Sometimes it's even impossible. Each time you have to overcome your own resistance.

Even in family relationships when a partner demands or asks for something, you always want to do everything in the opposite way. After all, to do what the other wants means to step over oneself, to bend under him, to feel the lack of freedom and dependence on his will. As a result, all life is a continuous protest, and there are practically no aspirations of one's own. You live by resisting the desires of others. But, unfortunately, this is just an illusion of freedom, your activity depends on others.

Mechanism of stubbornness

As Yuri Burlan shows at the Systemic Vector Psychology training, people with an anal vector can suffer from pathological stubbornness. They are born with the ability to focus on the smallest details in any business and the desire to achieve perfection. These are the people who are able to bring everything to the end, but at the same time it can be difficult for them to start something new.

One of their natural character traits is perseverance, which helps to achieve the best result by all means. These people have a strong will. They can spend hours, or even days on end, doing one thing, correcting inaccuracies, only to achieve maximum quality. And because they focus on the details and quality of the work they do, they naturally take more time to get it done.

“... I stopped arguing with people over trifles. Before, it was just a disaster. Pearl is like a tank. And my word must be the last. If someone added something after I put an end to it, I was very indignant. I could say something completely off topic, if only I had the last word. Now it's gone. Nothing bubbling inside when people make comments to me or advise me how to do better. I either listen to their opinions (which is most often), or somehow do what I think would be best (if I think that the person is not competent or has a biased view of the situation).

I'm making concessions in many ways. A lot of things are not important for me, and if I see that a person is pissed off by some detail, that he will not calm down until the irritant disappears, then I behave in such a way that the person is not annoyed (I used to download your rights). For example, it is important for someone, like me before, to insert his word last, in which case I let the person do it, because I understand that he will experience inner satisfaction from this, and I am pleased when I am surrounded, if not happy , then at least people who are satisfied with their lives. And I give a chance to a person to feel like that. And I will not experience any internal discomfort. It does not affect the outcome of the case. In general, I began to concede in small things in order to win big. The focus has shifted to larger goals…”
Anastasia I., student, Voronezh




If you are ready to change your life and get rid of the habit of stubbornness, register for a free online training "Systemic Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan at

Stubbornness

A feature of behavior, in stable forms - a trait of character; acts as a defect in the sphere of the volitional individual, expressed in the desire to certainly act in one's own way, contrary to reasonable arguments, requests, advice or instructions from other people. Behavior characterized by an active rejection by an individual of the demands of other people addressed to him. At the same time, the behavior moves from the subject plane to the interpersonal one and receives support from the motives of self-affirmation.

It can be caused by feelings of resentment, anger, anger, revenge. It is observed primarily in overly emotional or rigid people, as well as in frustration important needs. In children and adolescents, the appearance of stubbornness may be due to the petty guardianship of adults or their dismissive attitude towards the desire of children to be independent - to be a form of protest expressing dissatisfaction with the unreasonable suppression of developing independence.


Dictionary of practical psychologist. - M.: AST, Harvest. S. Yu. Golovin. 1998 .

Specificity.

Active rejection of the demands of other people addressed to the individual. At the same time, the behavior moves from the subject plane to the interpersonal one and receives support from the motives of self-affirmation. It is observed primarily in overly emotional or rigid people, as well as in the frustration of important needs. In children and adolescents, the appearance of stubbornness may be due to the petty guardianship of adults or a dismissive attitude towards their desire to be independent.


Psychological Dictionary. THEM. Kondakov. 2000 .

stubbornness

(English) stubbornness) - a form of behavior due to the motive self-assertion. U. most often manifests itself in people with increased affectivity and intellectual limitations. In children and adolescents, unfavorable conditions of life and education contribute to the emergence of U.: dissatisfaction with their essential needs, rudeness in handling or, conversely, indulging their whims and unreasonable demands. Adolescence may appear as a result of petty guardianship, ignoring by the elders of his increasing rights to independence. Not always being able to find reasonable ways to manifest their independence, a teenager can become uncompromising over trifles, begins to defend unreasonable decisions. U. can gain a foothold and become stable negative. property character. In this case, it is difficult to overcome it if the subject himself does not realize this necessity. Cm. , , .


Big psychological dictionary. - M.: Prime-EVROZNAK. Ed. B.G. Meshcheryakova, acad. V.P. Zinchenko. 2003 .

Synonyms:

See what "stubbornness" is in other dictionaries:

    stubbornness- Perseverance, perseverance, steadfastness, willfulness, constancy, endurance, willpower, iron will. ... .. Dictionary of Russian synonyms and expressions similar in meaning. under. ed. N. Abramova, M .: Russian dictionaries, 1999. stubbornness, perseverance, perseverance, ... ... Synonym dictionary

    stubbornness- stubbornness, stubbornness, pl. no, cf. distraction noun to stubborn; intransigence, intransigence. Silly stubbornness. Break someone's stubbornness. "Obstinacy spirit spoiled us all." Pushkin. "He knows she can't get over this stubbornness." Maksim Gorky.… … Dictionary Ushakov

    stubbornness- has only the form of character, but not its content. Immanuel Kant The donkey's energy manifests itself in full measure only when it does not move. Nicolae Iorga Determination: perseverance in achieving a goal that you approve of. Stubbornness:… … Consolidated encyclopedia of aphorisms

    stubbornness- persistent (Avseenko); dull (Budischev); purely khokhlatsky (Budischev) Epithets of literary Russian speech. M: The supplier of the court of His Majesty, the partnership of the printing press A. A. Levenson. A. L. Zelenetsky. 1913. stubbornness Extreme intransigence, ... ... Dictionary of epithets

    Stubbornness- the behavior of the individual, characterized by an active rejection of the demands of other people addressed to him. At the same time, the behavior moves from the subject plane to the interpersonal one and receives support from the motives of self-affirmation. It is seen primarily in... Psychological Dictionary

    stubbornness- OBSTRUCTION, a, cf. Extreme intransigence, stubborn behavior. Break someone. Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

    stubbornness- wild stubbornness exceptional stubbornness incredible stubbornness incredible stubbornness irresistible stubbornness donkey stubbornness amazing stubbornness amazing stubbornness rare stubbornness amazing stubbornness... Dictionary of Russian Idioms

    Stubbornness- (from stubborn in the meaning of "direct, frank") - self-will, willfulness, intractability, intransigence. Combined with self-affirmation. May be due to rigidity and emotionality. A possible manifestation is strongly compressed lips. Typical... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

    Stubbornness- a negative moral-volitional quality of a person, based on the denial of moral qualities. Stubbornness is expressed in unreasonable, unreasonable opposition to everything that comes from other people. A stubborn person acts contrary to the arguments of reason ... Fundamentals of spiritual culture (encyclopedic dictionary of a teacher)

    stubbornness- STABILITY, a, cf. The behavior of an uncompromising, intractable person who seeks to act in his own way, contrary to necessity and common sense. Little by little I learned to sit alone at home. Vasilisa Yegorovna at first reproached me for this; but seeing my... Explanatory dictionary of Russian nouns

Books

  • A guide to taming small pests. Aggression. Stubbornness. Mischief, Yulia Vladimirovna Shcherbinina. Many books on psychology and pedagogy have been written about disobedience. And what? Children still continue to harass their parents, irritate educators, and bully their peers. Let's try...