Love and passion. Passion and love - two sides of the same coin or mutually exclusive feelings Is there passion in love

23.03.2022

For many centuries there have been disputes about what love is and how to separate it from another, no less interesting concept, such as passion. But few people ask the question of whether love can exist without passion and vice versa. What takes possession of a person first - love or passion? To understand this issue, let's do a little analysis and compare two ambiguous feelings, love and passion.

I love, or Passion overwhelms

How is love different from adoration? The rush of feelings is so exciting that words and thoughts have a chaotic character. A lover likes everything, the whole world for him is in colored paints, and pink glasses are in front of his eyes. A lover or beloved idealizes a soul mate, not noticing any flaws. Any act is regarded as something magical. Psychologists note that adoration always leads to disappointment if feelings are not supported by a reasonable component, namely love. Love is conscious and accepting. A loving person realizes that there are no ideal people, and his beloved person does not consist of mere virtues, but at the same time he accepts all the shortcomings and puts up with them. Adoration is blind, short-sighted and sometimes absurd. If we compare figuratively, then love is a wise old man, and adoration is a young student who accepts the teacher's words on faith and deifies him.

Passion as an unknown variable

Now, for greater contrast, let's take passion and love for comparison. How is love different from passion? Passion is often compared to impulse and even to falling in love. She is not endowed with constancy, she flares up in relationships, then fades away. She is able to push a person both to the most courageous act, and to the meanest. What is the difference between passion and love? Psychology does not give a clear answer. Rather, he tries not to separate one from the other, but to make these two feelings mutually beneficial for both partners. If passion has a positive character and thus exalts love, then this is harmony. If passion has a negative character in love, then this is a relationship disfigured by jealousy, suspicion and resentment. Unlike passion, love is distinguished by constancy, tolerance. These two feelings must exist together in the first, nascent stages of a relationship. Then only love should remain.

Sympathy, infatuation or love?

The origin of love begins with sympathy. This feeling is appreciative. At the level of sympathy, an assessment of the object, its character, and behavior takes place. It is at this stage that falling in love can be born, which later turns into a deeper feeling, such as love. How is love different from affection? Depth. Sympathy is superficial, ambiguous. It's just a quick glance, a nice word or conversation. Sympathy does not oblige you to confess your love, it does not oblige you to love. However, it is sympathy that can be decisive in a relationship that begins. Of course, partners will have to go a long and thorny path to love, but sympathy is like a pleasant beginning of a journey. First love is sympathy and passion. The next relationship is already sympathy and work on the mistakes of previous relationships. That is why the first love is so memorable and so fleeting.

Psychological essay

How is passion different from love? An essay on this topic can be written personally for everyone who cannot understand their relationship. Only loneliness can help you find the right answer. A person who is for passion lives in the moment, but not life. For him, the moment is important, not the course of life. This is the relationship of a moth that flies into the light of a candle without thinking about the consequences. A person who, for love, makes plans for the future, dreams, matures to create a family. For him, it is not today and not even today's events that are important, he lives in the future. The psychology of relationships is so complex that it is completely impossible to understand it. Different people, different reasons. Psychologists can only analyze a similar situation in a stereotyped way, and only a few manage to find the true cause and possible solutions to situations. It is people who are overwhelmed by passion who most often attend psychological trainings or directly turn to a psychologist. Understanding yourself can be extremely difficult, so you need a look from the outside.

Tender passion or tender love?

What is the difference between love, passion and tender love? Perhaps it is worth saying that love by its nature is quite brutal. She is calm, reasonable, she does not prove anything. Passion is just tender, it allows the beloved to enjoy his partner, to show all the tenderness, attention, so that the relationship still burns and does not cool down. It is with tenderness that passion proves that relationships are at their peak, and that is where they can end or turn into love. Even if you say “tender passion” aloud, you can immediately feel that the words contradict each other, do not agree. Yes, passion is not gentle, it is violent, dangerous, thoughtless and at the same time bewitching. Therefore, the very concept of “tenderness” can be attributed to a certain moment, but not to the feeling as a whole.

Passion is inspiration

If we turn to the history of art, we can see that all the great works were written by the authors in a fit of passion, inspiration. How love differs from passion, they did not know when they created magnificence, but it was a symbiosis of love and passion. So in relationships, passion inspires, love restrains passion. No, these are not two sisters, rather, two rivals who fight in a person for the right to remain in his heart, mind, in his life. Passion is always actions, a person cannot express his attitude in a different way, he needs to prove his claims to the object of adoration every time. Sometimes these actions lead to the end of the relationship. The second half is bored with such behavior, which does not grow into anything further. In other words, passion must have a limit.

How to recognize love?

How is love different from passion? How to recognize love and not entrust your heart to a seeker of love adventures? First, no one will talk about their love as something sublime, unattainable. Love is reasonable. She knows whom and in spite of what she extols. Secondly, love is not a moment, not a flash, not a sprint for a short distance. This feeling comes gradually, looking closely. If we say how love differs from passion, then, of course, devotion. Passion is a flame, it can arise at the first meeting. It is often confused with love at first sight. Some joke that love at first sight is usually love at first sight. Such a substitution of concepts fully answers the question of how passion differs from love. Desire and passion go hand in hand. Love always goes alone. And one more little clarification: love has no special features, because everyone has their own, special. It is enough to remember love stories, they are all different, and each has something to learn.

Passion is the strongest feeling that arises at the level of instincts. This is a powerful passion and desire to completely possess another person. Physical attraction occurs at a subconscious level and cannot be controlled. Sooner or later at some point in life, everyone is faced with a similar feeling, but many people confuse the concepts of “passion” and “love” with each other, especially when they are in their teens. This happens because a person in both cases is irresistibly attracted to the other.

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In adulthood, a person usually already knows how to distinguish between love and passion between themselves. People understand that love is not only a candy-bouquet period and endless happiness, it is also a huge work on oneself and on relationships. Passion is more irresponsible and frivolous.

There is a huge difference between these feelings. Love is the spiritual closeness of two people, while passion is the desire to possess a person completely. Selfish feeling. However, without it, normal and harmonious relations in a couple, most likely, will not work. Physical attraction is the foundation on which relationships begin to build and subsequently true love is born. If the relationship is based only on passion, in such a situation people do not listen to each other's desires, and everyone wants to satisfy only their own needs. Passion, unlike love, is fleeting. It can disappear as quickly as it appeared. When a person achieves the object of passion, his desire fades away. But it is not uncommon for physical attraction to be reborn into true love.

Psychologists compare passion with the effects of drugs.

Love is more characterized by the desire to make the other half happy, even to the detriment of oneself. Experiencing sexual interest at the level of instinct, a person is focused only on satisfying his own needs. During passion, the strongest emotions prevail, and all thoughts rush to the object of adoration. Love, on the contrary, is a meaningful and calm feeling, when the happiness of another becomes much more important than your own. Interest is shown to the person, and appearance does not really matter.

Signs of feelings

On the basis of love and physical attraction, long-term relationships are born that end with the creation of a family. In order not to make a serious mistake in his life, a person must be able to distinguish between these feelings. If you marry at the stage of a passionate relationship, then the union will not bring happiness to any of the partners. When sexual interest fades, the relationship between the spouses will break.

Signs of Passion:

insane interest in the body of another person;
relationships are based on flirting, not heart-to-heart talk;
there is a pathological feeling of jealousy and fear of loss;
the object of passion is endowed with non-existent qualities, there is a reluctance to look at him with a sober look;
requires increased attention to your person;
spending time together is reduced to sexual contact and fun;
the union is more like a relationship of lovers than friends.

To recognize love and passion, you need to listen to your own feelings and analyze feelings.

Love is expressed in the following signs:

desire to get to know the person better;
striving to be near “both in sorrow and in joy”;
the desire to surround a partner with affection, care and warmth, without requiring the same attitude in return;
need for communication on any topic;
striving for understanding and respect for a partner;
willingness to compromise;
the desire to fulfill any request of a loved one;
in bed in the first place is the satisfaction of the interests of the partner.

Love is a deep and creative feeling. Passion destroys and destroys; when a relationship breaks, it always hurts one of the partners. The one who experienced more serious feelings. It's unavoidable.

Stages of relationships between partners

Relationship stages based on love and sexual interest:

1. Passionate relationship. The period of falling in love is exactly the moment when a person sees the object of his adoration through “rose-colored glasses” and endows him with non-existent qualities. Communication at this level does not take place with a real person, but with a fictional phantom that is groomed, cherished and protected. After one or two years, the rose-colored glasses fall off, and the former lover experiences a feeling of great disappointment.
2. True love with elements of passion. In this case, the priorities are set properly. Love is at the head and controls sensuality. This is the perfect union of a man and a woman.
3. Love. Such relationships are not suitable for all couples. They are designed for people with a certain type of character and personality type. A sort of quiet harbor with eternal calm. The union may bore one of the partners, and the person will go to look for the missing emotions on the side. But if a couple is satisfied with this relationship, and they feel happy, their relationship will last for an extended period of time.

By nature, women are more emotional. However, passion is most important to men. During passionate love, they produce hormones that increase their effectiveness in any area of life several times.

I love, or Passion overwhelms

Passion as an unknown variable

Now, for greater contrast, let's take passion and love for comparison. How is love different from often compared with impulse and even falling in love. She is not endowed with constancy, she flares up in relationships, then fades away. She is able to push a person both to the most courageous act, and to the meanest. What is the difference between passion and love? Psychology does not give a clear answer. Rather, he tries not to separate one from the other, but to make these two feelings mutually beneficial for both partners. If passion is positive and thus exalts love, then this is harmony. If passion has a negative character in love, then this is a relationship disfigured by jealousy, suspicion and resentment. Unlike passion, love is distinguished by constancy, tolerance. These two feelings must exist together in the first, nascent stages of a relationship. Then only love should remain.

Sympathy, infatuation or love?

Psychological essay

Tender passion or tender love?

Passion is inspiration

How to recognize love?

Love in all its manifestations, and especially romantic love, is always elevated to the rank of the highest feeling. She is everywhere: books are written about her, films and serials are made, pictures are drawn.

But reality and fiction are two different things. A person who has felt a strong attraction to another person may feel confusion, and his internal sensations can be contradictory.

Is he really in love? And how to distinguish love from falling in love, affection and other feelings? To understand this it is important to analyze your own feelings and compare them with information about what love and falling in love are.

What is love?

Love- a feeling of very strong sympathy that a person experiences, a feeling of spiritual unity with someone.

She is one of the dominant themes in all areas of art, she is exalted, sought to find and extremely idealized.

Robert Sternberg developed a three-component theory of true love that perfectly captures the essence of this feeling:

Frankness, intimacy, sincerity. This item includes the confidence that a partner can be trusted with almost anything without fear of getting negative, and the desire to do so; a sense of calm, confidence in the future, which appears due to the presence of this person in life; the desire to be the same trusted person for a loved one; the desire to better understand his feelings and help in everything.
Passion. It is the desire to be intimate with a partner and receive deep physical pleasure from these moments. Also a person who is truly in love will find his partner attractive. Passion is an element that is similar to falling in love, but in people who have been together for a long time, it is not as pronounced as in the first stages of communication, and this is completely normal: the body does not maintain a high level of love hormones for years.
Commitments. This is loyalty, the desire to be with this person for many years, the desire to support him, to look for reasonable ways out of conflict situations in order to prevent a break in relations, and much more.

True love This is a lot of work that needs to be done for decades. But, of course, this work brings generous fruits and makes life ten times better.

Many young people who grew up on fairy tales of love are little familiar with the concept of "responsibility", often confuse love and falling in love, tend to break off relations as soon as "passion has weakened", because they are sure that passion in the case of true love should always be as hot as in the first month of the relationship.

But these are extremely erroneous judgments, the occurrence of which is closely related to the problem that exists in society: love is overly idealized.

What is the work that needs to be done? Here is just a small part of what you need to do in order to experience deep spiritual unity with a partner for many years:

How to prove to a girl that you love her? help you!

Sympathy or true love? Find out from the video:

signs

The main signs of love:

How to get the man you love back after a breakup? Learn about it from ours.

Love and affection - what's the difference? How to understand what keeps you from staying with a person? Comment on this video:

The concept of falling in love

Falling in love is a strong feeling of sympathy, which is based on hormonal activity, which is not stable.

Over time, it either dries up or transforms into love, depending on the desires of people in love with each other. She is not limited to sex drive, although it is certainly one of the pillars of this feeling.

Also, during love, due to the action of hormones, a person is not always able to logically comprehend the personality of his chosen one.

Even if he realizes that he has some negative sides, he does not take them seriously and extols the positive. These are the so-called "rose-colored glasses", which "fall off" when the love weakens.

The more rational and reasonable a person is, the more difficult it is for the feeling of falling in love to completely fool him.

Lightweight, romantic people, accustomed to relying on feelings, and not on reason, on the contrary, much easier to turn one's head.

Hormones, affecting the emergence and preservation of a feeling of love:

dopamine;
serotonin;
adrenalin;
endorphins;
vasopressin;
oxytocin.

But falling in love is not only about hormones. It is unreasonable to believe that people - beings far advanced in development - are driven exclusively by substances produced by the body.

The emergence of a feeling of love is influenced by a lot of factors, including socially determined ones, which are difficult to fully take into account.

Main features

Signs of love:

There are other signs of falling in love, such as the desire to care, the fear of losing the chosen one, patience with any of his antics, even the most inadequate.

Love or infatuation? How to distinguish? Watch the video:

Similarities of the two concepts

The main similarities of these feelings:

the presence of a strong sympathy for a person, attraction;
fear of parting with the chosen one;
fear that something might happen to him;
desire to help, support;
the desire to be a trusted person for the chosen one.

Love and infatuation have a lot in common, because they have a common basis and common goals, but it depends only on the couple how long the feelings will last and what they will bring with them.

How to forget a loved one after a breakup? find out right now.

The difference between love

Like and love - what's the difference? Learn about it from the video:

Attraction and true love - what's the difference?

sexual attraction takes place during the period of falling in love, but if it is in the foreground, and other aspects of the feeling - the desire to cherish, support, the desire to become better, the fear of losing - are absent or very weakly expressed, this is attraction, not love.

But if people in love with each other have a very strong libido, the boundaries between attraction and falling in love are partially erased.

True love is not selfish, and to maintain it you need to work: be attentive to your partner, take some responsibility, see the negative sides of your partner, be able to resolve conflicts, realize that love is not a holiday for life, but a much more complex quintessence of feelings, emotions, situations.

During falling in love, some aspects of love can also be observed, but they are not expressed too strongly. Falling in love is more fanatical, and love is a conscious, mature feeling that can last a lifetime.

Love or passion? How to determine? Comparison:

How to protect yourself from mistakes?

To better understand your own feelings, it is important to analyze them, ponder, ask yourself questions such as “Am I sure I want to live life with this person?”, “Am I ready (a) to accept him or her?”, try to track the negative sides of the chosen one, write them down and try to imagine that they belong to someone else.

Is it difficult to tolerate such a person? Would you like to do business with him?

In love (in the first few months), the color of pink glasses is most saturated, so it will be difficult to protect yourself from mistakes due to the fact that hormones cause the brain to perceive the chosen one exclusively positively even if he behaves disgustingly.

In principle, there is no ideal algorithm that is guaranteed not to make mistakes in feelings, since life is unpredictable, and even a person who behaves exemplarily can turn out to be completely different at any moment.

Romantic interactions are a journey of trial and error, and this is worth realizing.

The most important thing - time to notice that the relationship began to bring pain, not pleasure, warmth and tranquility, and abandon them as soon as possible.

The most vivid of the feelings that a person can experience are love and passion. More often the second accompanies the first, but love does not in all cases arise along with passion. It happens, and often, that both feelings exist separately from each other. This article will tell you how to distinguish love from passion, and help you put everything on the shelves.

From this article you will learn:

How can you tell love from passion?
What emotions indicate that you feel for your partner not love, but passion
How to distinguish love from passion and save yourself from mistakes

What is love and passion

The palette of human feelings is very diverse, so it is almost impossible to give an exact definition of each of them. Sometimes a person thinks that true love has finally come to him, and the romance suddenly ends abruptly. In this case, it is most likely about passion.

The special attraction that arises between a man and a woman underlies both feelings. It is difficult to distinguish them, since both love and passion have a huge number of shades and halftones. It is easy to make a mistake in defining these feelings.

Passion is

When defining a term, one cannot rely only on comments of a subjective nature. Let's see what definition is given in the dictionary by V. Dahl. “Passion is an impulse of the soul regarding something, an inner thirst, an unrequited attraction, an inexplicable and unbridled desire ... An endless abyss lies between human passion and a reasonable beginning. The passions are subordinate to reason, but they oppose it. Passion is blind and immeasurable, it is not capable of reasoning, and a person who succumbs to it resembles an angry beast.

Physical manifestations of passion:

rapid pulse;
absent gaze;
pupils are dilated;
trembling of the body;
frequent sexual desire;
abrupt change of cold and heat;
the body is in a restless state;
the hands are shaky;
legs move randomly.

Passion is the need of the human body to satisfy its desires and needs. It is based on the primitive instinct of the animal, selfish, designed to satisfy the personal needs of man. The degree of satisfaction of the desires of the other partner is either zero or minimal, if their needs coincide in some way.

Love is

The feeling of love underlies many legends, millions of people dream of it. According to the American poet Emily Dickinson: “Love is everything. And that's all we know about her." The statement is endowed with great meaning, because often people get confused: they cannot distinguish love from passion.

If we talk about true love, then this is a truly spiritual feeling, which is much deeper than passion. The foundation of this relationship of partners is admiration, respect, support, emotional fulfillment, deep affection. Love involves constant concern for the loved one more than for oneself. Very often, lovers are connected by common life goals, and in order to achieve them, they interact with each other. Often true love involves self-sacrifice. It differs from passion in that it does not decrease over time, but, on the contrary, turns into an even deeper and stronger feeling.
It is known that not all people can love. True love is characterized by a special tenderness between lovers, as well as a feeling of complete boundless devotion to each other. If a person truly loves, he always tries to take into account the point of view and interests of the second half. It gives him pleasure to make his loved one pleasant, fulfilling his desires, making dreams a reality and bringing joy. For people who truly love each other, mutual happiness is in the first place. They experience the joy of sacrificing their personal needs and passions to please a loved one.

Love provides for the deepest mutual respect between partners who are ready to compromise at any moment.

Genuine feelings will overcome all the difficulties that may arise in the way of loving hearts. Thanks to reigning love, the couple maintains a relationship for a very long time or even a lifetime.

How to distinguish love from passion: 8 signs

What is the difference between passion and love? Based on these differences, it is quite easy to determine what kind of feeling you are filled with - momentary infatuation or genuine love.

Any passionate relationship is based on a person's selfish desire to possess, and this often indicates a lack of respect for the partner's individuality. These relationships are not destined to last long, because they are dominated by primitive and easily achievable goals. People who love always strive to satisfy the desires of a partner, seek a compromise and are ready to change, if only the other half is happy.
You can distinguish love from passion by the duration of the relationship. A fleeting passion passes as soon as one of the partners ceases to be interested in the other. And love stays with a person for many years. If after some time you lost interest in a person who you used to really like, then it was just a hobby.
A fleeting passionate euphoria occurs due to pheromones that have a short-term effect on our body. Therefore, it is very fleeting in the event that it is not fueled by love.
An important distinguishing factor is the emotional coloring of these feelings. Passion is characterized by frenzy, unrestraint and power. Love is characterized by deep meaningfulness and calmness.
When a person loves, he wants to know everything about his soul mate, to be imbued with everything that she or he lives. The main thing that distinguishes love from passion is a genuine interest in a partner. A person experiencing love affection is ready to put up with some shortcomings of the chosen one (chosen one).
A man in love is patient. He will long and patiently wait for his happiness, living in hopes for a joint future, making all his efforts to this end. A person seized with passion, on the contrary, lives one day, not caring about the relationship developing further.
Only a smile, simple communication, a telephone conversation brings joy to a loving person. The aspirations of a person seized with passion are aimed at first of all pleasing himself by satisfying his physical needs. When a person receives this, he rapidly loses all interest in the object of his passionate desires. People who have only a passionate attraction to a partner can easily get annoyed because of a mismatch of interests.
It happens that a passionate attraction arises in relation to several objects. Love, on the other hand, can only be directed towards one and only one (the only one).

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How to distinguish love from passion by emotions

Some psychologists believe that true love and friendship are endowed with common features: the same goals, life principles, views and requests. Based on this opinion, you can easily distinguish love from passion, you just need to feel and hear your emotions and inner voice. If you still find it difficult to understand the feelings you are experiencing, then pay attention to some important "notes" that will help determine the true nature of the unrest:

The presence of a partner causes confusion in you, makes your heart beat faster, overshadows the world around you (and this happens because there is no way to concentrate on anything other than the object of desire). In this case, we can say that a person is physically dependent on another person. Passion is like a hunger that cannot be endured at the sight of food. Analyze your feelings. Do they match this scenario?
After a few months, the excitement and confusion in the presence of the chosen one or the chosen one should be replaced by calm and relaxation. If the state of peace does not occur, then this should be very alarming. Most likely, addiction develops at an unconscious level, which can lead to very unpleasant consequences. Harmonious relationships are characterized by calmness and a constant sense of security.
Desire for every minute presence of a partner. Once you break up for a while, you begin to bombard your beloved with messages about his whereabouts and pastime, thereby putting pressure on him. A man cannot be tied to himself with the help of total control. Someday he will get tired of it and, in order to squeeze out a piece of personal space, he will begin to wrap and dodge, hiding his location.
The bed can solve all conflicts. It seems like a good option for adding spark to a relationship. However, it is very bad if the couple fails to solve problems with a simple dialogue.
There comes a moment when sexual relations shift from the first position to the second, and there is still a need for vivid emotional experiences. This means that passion has turned into addiction, and it gives impetus to conflicts, more often than not unreasonable. The passion between loving people subsides after the first months, giving rise to measured serene relationships that are comfortable for each of the partners.
Crazy passion can sometimes be harmful. If the dependence is very high, there is a possibility that because of the fear of losing the chosen one, you may allow incorrect behavior on his part (rude attitude, ignoring and caustic jokes) towards yourself. You need to take into account that a man who loves sincerely will never offend his beloved, on the contrary, he will inspire confidence in her abilities.

How to distinguish feelings from each other and protect yourself from mistakes

In order to better understand your feelings, it is necessary and important to carefully analyze them and think them over carefully.

The question to ask yourself is: “Am I definitely ready to live with this person all my life?”, “Will I be able to accept him with all the shortcomings?”.
Try to “monitor” all the negative qualities of a partner, write it down and imagine that someone else is endowed with them. Will it be easy to endure this person, will the desire to have anything in common with him disappear?
Tell your loved one about how you would like to see your relationship, what is important for you in them, what you expect from him.
Think about whether a man has matured to love, a sublime feeling? Or is passion the height of his spiritual possibilities in this period?
Open to your partner what you want in a relationship, tell him directly about what you expect from him in love. Maybe a man is trying to understand what exactly you need, so he demonstrates it in all available ways. And passion is the most common thing, what lies on the surface.
In the first months it is very easy to make a lot of mistakes, as this is still the initial stage of falling in love. Our brain obeys hormones, and we see the chosen one through the prism of rose-colored glasses, completely devoid of flaws (even if this is not the case, and his behavior is far from ideal).
There is no optimal recipe for how to ensure that you do not make mistakes in defining your feelings. Isn't life unpredictable? And a person with exemplary behavior can have "breakdowns" when he shows himself from a very unsightly side. You need to realize that in romantic relationships you cannot avoid trial and error.

It is important not to miss the moment when relationships begin to bring only pain instead of pleasure, warmth and peace. In this case, immediately discard them. If you know what real, and most importantly, mutual love is, then you need to try to keep it for life.

Thank you for reading this article to the end

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy halves, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.

More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!